I have decided.

I saw a YouTube video (it popped up randomly on my feed) about how you only live twice. Once, and then a second time over when you realise you only live once. I have always been the timid, “You will get in trouble, don’t do it” kind of friend. I want to act my age, not like i’m 40. I want to get in a little bit of trouble, and make some dumb mistakes, and I want to learn. When I was a child/teen I was always extremely mature, I was silly and dirty minded and so on, but I was very rules based, and I am a very, VERY empathetic person. I feel bad for sneaking out and so on.

My friends are totally reckless. I never have been tho. I’ve always been the one to sit out on horror movies at sleepovers, or refuse to steal a piece of candy from the local store. But watching this single video, made me realize. I always tell myself; maybe next time. Is there a next time? Nope! so I have decided I will do it. I will take risks and I will not have any regrets. I will live life at its fullest!

I have also decided to work on myself. Small gestures of self love, like trying to get rid of the rings under my eyes, washing my face every morning, and grab some products to make my hair shiny. I want to find myself a love life. If I see a hot guy, i’ll ask for his number. I have nothing to lose! I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!!!!!

I feel so much better gang.

Also quick rant…. I have been in bed for 3 F*CKING WEEKS I wanna cry omg. I am fine now, but because I have a stupid immune deficiency I can’t go to school and whatever (bc there’s a really really bad virus going around and if I got it I might die heh), and now my brother and dad are getting sick and I have exams coming up AND I WANNA CRY AEAEAEAE bc I cant focus.

OH YES ANOTHER THING.
tomorrow morning, I am not gonna check my phone. I am going to meditate and focus on myself for 17 mins. I am going to wash my face, and I am going to study. :)