Chapter 20
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Chapter 20
Inside the carriage returning to the Estate, laden with gifts.
Rachel gazed out at the passing scenery, lost in thought, when I felt a gentle weight settle upon my shoulder and startled slightly.
"Hmm...?"
It was Vivian's small head, resting against me in sleep.
The child who had eaten desserts so eagerly with her tiny frame continued to smack her lips in her dreams, as if savoring something even in slumber.
Watching this with an amused smile, I noticed that Vivian was holding my hand even in her sleep, and I gazed at her quietly.
[I'll stay by your side, Miss.]
It was unprecedented.
Never before had someone other than Mother or the Nanny reached out to hold my hand first.
Or rather, to be precise...
Vivian was the first person whose hand I didn't push away—hands I had always rejected for fear my carefully hidden secrets would be discovered.
Strangely, I couldn't bring myself to reject this child's hand.
In that moment, those honey-colored eyes gazing at me sparkled so brilliantly.
I forgot to pull my hand away.
The child's hand I held was soft and warm—so much so that I never wanted to let it go.
Yet the hands of others still frightened and repulsed me.
Only Vivian was special.
Because this child was on my side.
No matter what terrifying thing might befall me, she wouldn't abandon me and flee.
But then...
[So you like him too?]
[Of course. Peter is my friend.]
Recalling the sight of Vivian and Peter at the General Store just moments ago, my eyes grew cold and distant.
'I'm not special to Vivian.'
Just one among many friends.
The only difference from the other children is a status that prevents casual approach—nothing more.
That's not a distinction; it's a barrier.
So I allowed her to cross that barrier, but it wasn't enough.
'I don't want a friend who could be anyone.'
I don't want her to like me the same way she likes other children.
I wish she would look only at me, hold only my hand.
'No one else will do.'
Like me more.
No, truthfully, I don't even want that.
"...I wish you liked only me."
Just as you are my only one, I wish I were your only one.
As I pondered how to become someone special to Vivian, I recalled something she had said before.
[Friends are supposed to share their true feelings with each other. Even secrets they can't speak aloud. That's how you become closer friends.]
If we share secrets, we can become closer friends.
As I turned those words over in my mind, I suddenly remembered the secrets I had yet to share with Vivian.
The first one was....
'Vivian still doesn't know about my constitution.'
If I told her that the illness tormenting her would ease simply by holding my hand...
'Would she stay by my side then?'
Of course, I knew it was wrong to exploit Vivian's condition for my own purposes.
Yet even as my mind acknowledged this, I couldn't suppress the joy that came with having a reason to keep her close.
And the second secret was.
'What if she learns I'm male... and comes to hate me?'
Rachel, who had worried for a moment, soon reached a reassuring conclusion.
After all, she had remained by my side even knowing the Emperor was watching me, even understanding the dangers that entailed.
'I'll tell her when she wakes.'
With that resolve, Rachel gripped the sleeping Vivian's hand firmly.
* * *
I awoke from an unexpected slumber to find we had already arrived at the Villa.
After entrusting the gifts we'd brought to the knights, I climbed the stairs slowly with Rachel.
'I wonder if the ladies will love the gifts?'
Then I'd grow closer to Rachel quickly, wouldn't I?
Climbing the stairs with anticipation swelling in my chest, I finally caught sight of Rachel's face following behind me.
Rachel stared at me intently, lost in thought.
I tilted my head curiously and asked.
"What's wrong, Rachel?"
Rachel hesitated for a moment before speaking with apparent resolve.
"There's something I need to tell you later."
"Something to tell me?"
"Yes. Before we go home."
What? When he says it like that, it makes me curious.
"Can't you just tell me now? I'm dying to know."
"Not now."
Rachel glanced around at the servants passing by and cut me off decisively.
My body itched with curiosity, but since Rachel said it wasn't possible, I decided not to press further.
'Besides, there's something more important to do right now!'
As we reached the door to my room, I spotted two Maids waiting there.
"Welcome back, Miss."
Rachel, who had been about to enter the room as usual without properly acknowledging their greeting, stopped when I didn't move, still holding his hand.
I squeezed Rachel's hand firmly and sent a signal.
'Come on, do what I told you about in the Village earlier, Rachel!'
The first step in getting closer to the Maids!
Rachel hesitated with a reluctant expression, then reluctantly lowered his gaze and spoke in a small voice.
"...Yes. I'm back."
That's right, well done.
The first step in building rapport is, without question, a proper greeting, isn't it?
Of course, whether the precious young lady deigns to acknowledge the Maids or not, they will obey Rachel regardless.
'Relationships, after all, must be mutual to truly flourish.'
What had been a one-sided obedience from the Maids to Rachel was now taking its first step toward reciprocity.
I examined the Maids' faces with a sense of satisfaction.
As expected, they stared at Rachel with wide, astonished eyes.
But Rachel, embarrassed, didn't even glance at them before hurrying into the room.
'I should have told him to come in because I had a gift for them.'
Well, since Rachel still seemed awkward around the Maids, it couldn't be helped.
I smiled contentedly and spoke to the Maids on Rachel's behalf.
"Sisters, could you spare a moment?"
"Is something the matter?"
"Not exactly. The young lady has prepared gifts for you all."
"Gifts?"
I led the puzzled Maids into the room.
Rachel stood before a box that the knights had left earlier.
I approached the box and withdrew two bottles—glass vessels filled with a transparent liquid.
I handed one to each of the Maids.
"What is this, Miss?"
The Maids, suddenly receiving gifts, looked between Rachel and me with bewildered expressions.
I explained on Rachel's behalf.
"This is a beauty tonic that's become quite famous in our Village lately. Wash your face and apply it, and your skin becomes wonderfully soft."
"My goodness. I was just thinking about going to buy some myself."
The Maids appeared deeply moved by the gift.
Well, it was the expected outcome.
Though Rachel had paid for it, I had carefully selected the item.
I looked at Rachel with a smug expression.
When I had chosen this as the gift, Rachel seemed puzzled as to why I'd selected it specifically.
[Of course, food is less burdensome and more effective as a gift between unfamiliar parties! But the House of Edelwein has abundant food, so such things would be meaningless to the Maids.]
[There are local specialties in this area, aren't there?]
[True, they're delicious, but they disappear quickly.]
[That's fair.]
[But if you give something they can use for a long time, they'll think of the gift-giver every time they use it, won't they?]
And my prediction proved correct.
From now on, the Maids would think of Rachel every morning and evening when they washed their faces.
This marked the successful completion of step one in building closeness.
'Hmm, the mood is good—should I push a bit further?'
I added a bit more to the conversation.
"The young lady says she's sorry for not preparing anything in advance, as the journey from the Estate must have been exhausting."
Rachel stared at me with a bewildered expression.
When did I ever...?
That's what his gaze seemed to ask.
The maids, unaware of the circumstances, gazed at Rachel with genuine gratitude in their eyes.
"You didn't have to go to such trouble... We're truly grateful, Miss. We'll do our best going forward."
Rachel's eyes flickered with subtle emotion as he watched them.
He had only brought the gift because I had pestered him relentlessly, yet his expression suggested he never imagined such a small gesture could shift the dynamics between them.
Uncertain how to express what he was feeling, Rachel turned to look at me.
'Seeing Rachel's surprise, I felt a pang of sympathy.'
That astonished expression revealed he harbored no hope whatsoever.
It meant he had been so lonely that he'd abandoned hope entirely.
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