Chapter 23
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Chapter 23
Perhaps it was the beauty of the day.
Or perhaps it was the way the child's golden eyes, brimming with sunlight in that fleeting moment, gleamed with such brilliance.
Words I had never spoken before another soul came pouring forth.
"Is there truly a life without regret?"
Curtis Rohan murmured the opening, as if speaking to himself.
"You know I once had a daughter."
"The Duchess's mother?"
"Yes, that child."
Curtis Rohan's face, as he spoke of Isela, had shed its usual oppressive weight and softened entirely.
"Though she lost her mother early, she was the sort of child who looked after her father instead."
Curtis Rohan, who had been gazing absently at the child across from me, suddenly stilled.
Perhaps because Vivian and Isela's circumstances were so similar, the image of young Isela seemed to overlap with the child before me.
That face, now grown hazy with time.
Staring at that phantom image, Curtis Rohan continued with a bitter smile.
"She was so precious, so invaluable, that I wished to give her only the most precious things in the world."
He had wanted to give his treasured daughter the position of Crown Princess. For that, he had supported Orpen.
But....
"Yet what that child truly desired was not something grand and beautiful, but small and ordinary things. Always."
Isela had loved Leopfried, not Orpen who could have given her the most exalted position.
"I forced upon that child what I deemed valuable, believing it to be love. ...How foolish I was."
To secure the Crown Princess position for Isela, I had turned a blind eye to Leopfried's death as Orpen's supporter.
All the while unaware that my daughter already carried within her womb a child bearing his blood.
"Yet even such a father as I was, that child called me father, and in the end, she left my side to protect those small, precious things."
I finally obtained the Crown Princess position I had so desperately wanted to give her, only to have the very person meant to occupy it vanish.
'What have I lived so fiercely for my entire life?'
For whom, truly....
At first came overwhelming remorse, followed by piercing regret.
Only then did I understand.
I had not lived for Isela, but for my own selfish desires.
Had I spent my life regretting and yearning for the departed Isela, I might have found some happiness in that.
"Then one day, that child returned to me. Afflicted with a terrible illness."
And at Isela's side was a grandchild I could never have imagined.
My daughter, frail from birth, had contracted the illness protecting the child of a man who became a traitor, and the child had lost his father before even being born.
Only then did Curtis Rohan grasp what he had done, and his heart felt as though it were being torn asunder.
And even now, still.
Whenever I recall that day, my chest constricts and I swallow hard.
"Had I respected that child's wishes, would she not have fled as she did?"
"...."
"Had I done so, would that terrible illness not have taken her from me?"
"...."
"...I still regret that day."
So deeply, with every breath I take.
When he finished speaking, Vivian, who had been listening quietly, carefully opened her mouth.
"Of course, the young lady's mother must not have been pleased when the Duke forced her to do things either."
That must have been true. She surely harbored resentment.
Kaltz, who had been resigned to Vivian's words as if they were Isela's own, was left bewildered by what came next.
"But sir, that's just what fathers do, isn't it?"
"...."
"My father forces me to take medicine when I'm sick even if I don't want to, and he won't let me climb trees even though I want to, because he's afraid I'll get hurt."
"...."
"But I love my father very much. Because I know he does these things because he loves me."
"...."
"So the young lady's mother must have loved the Duke very much too."
At those words, Kaltz's expression twisted—somewhere between weeping and smiling.
In truth, it was far simpler than what Vivian imagined.
Isela had begged Kaltz to save Leopfried, but he could do nothing.
Or rather, he did nothing.
There was no evidence to clear Leopfried's name, and he had no desire to risk being branded a traitor by helping him escape.
Because Isela mattered more to him.
Now I know that was a cowardly excuse....
"And if the father you love is bound by the past, he will grieve."
Suddenly, words Isela had spoken before drawing her final breath came to mind.
[I resented Father greatly once.]
[....]
[And if I said I've completely forgiven him now, that would be a lie.]
[...I'm sorry, Isela. I....]
[But now that I'm a mother, I understand. Father had no choice but to do as he did then....]
[....]
[So please, Father, forgive yourself from back then.]
Vivian's words sounded like Isela's own words to me.
To me, who still could not forgive myself, as if she were telling me once more that it was alright.
Or perhaps I merely heard it that way because I yearned to be forgiven by Isela.
And in that moment, I realized.
That I would never receive forgiveness from Isela, who was already dead.
The only one who could forgive me was not Isela, but myself.
Kaltz stared blankly at Vivian, then smiled bitterly and murmured.
"...Yes, it's time I let that child go."
It was time to break free from the past.
Just as my beloved daughter once said.
* * *
Alone in her room, Sally was sketching when a single line went awry, and unable to contain her frustration, she hurled her colored pencil across the floor.
"Ugh, how irritating!"
Sally's irritability had grown considerably of late.
It had begun the moment Vivian started frequenting the Estate.
Once Vivian began attending lessons alongside Rachel, the time Sally spent with him naturally dwindled.
Several servants, concerned at the sight of Sally playing alone, had brought her refreshments and suggested she try playing with the young mistress and that girl.
In the midst of it all, even Margaret had attempted to sway Sally.
[Sally, don't be like that. Try to get close to the young mistress and that girl. After all, one must keep enemies near and identify their weaknesses.]
[You're telling me to play with that beggar? No, I hate it! Mother, chase her out quickly! Do it now!]
But Sally had no intention of heeding those words.
At this point, inserting herself between Vivian and Rachel felt beneath her dignity.
'Mother will find a way to drive that girl out.'
It had always been Mother who removed Rachel's playmates before.
Sally waited, expecting Mother to resolve this as well, yet somehow Vivian's time at the Estate only grew longer.
With it came Sally's mounting sense of crisis and anxiety, her irritation compounding day by day.
As Sally finished coloring with another shade, she ultimately hurled her sketchbook aside and rose to her feet.
"I want a snack."
But when she pulled the bell cord, the maids did not come.
In truth, there was no reason for the maids to attend to Sally, the Nanny's daughter, yet until now they had brought her refreshments out of consideration for Margaret.
However, now accustomed to the maids' service, Sally raged in her ignorance of her own station.
"Are you all ignoring me?!"
Trembling with fury, Sally ultimately made her own way to the Kitchen for a snack.
Thus, huffing indignantly as she descended the stairs.
Just as she was about to pass the second floor where Caltz's Study was located, she caught sight of a familiar silhouette emerging from within.
'That girl Vivian? Why is she coming out of the Duke's Study?'
Vivian, exiting the Study, descended the stairs accompanied by Owen's farewell.
"Today the Duke and I discussed... that book about..."
Vivian's cheerful chatter and Owen's occasional low laughter drifted faintly to her ears.
The exact content of what Vivian was saying remained unclear, but one thing was certain...
'That girl has even seduced the Duke!'
From the servants to Owen, to Rachel, and now even that fearsome Duke.
What could that wretched girl possibly be doing?
Sally could not fathom why everyone surrounded Vivian so completely.
Sally ground her teeth.
'There must be a reason Mother hasn't driven her out yet. That infuriating girl!'
Only then did a sense of urgency strike her—she could not rely on Mother alone.
As Sally listened to Vivian's voice growing ever more distant, she made her resolve.
'Before it's too late, I must drive that girl out myself.'
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