Farewell (2)
The voice carried a desperate wish.
Edwin gripped the hand held in his own, squeezing it tight.
“...I will.”
Why was it, he wondered.
In the form of the empire’s most noble princess, he seemed to see his past self.
“I will definitely return safely.”
Edwin nodded, as though making a vow to himself.
“So that you can stand by my side.”
The two of them smiled at each other.
A gentle breeze slipped between them, as if urging them not to be too heartbroken by the farewell that was coming.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
It was a faint rap at the door.
I stopped packing my bags and opened it.
The unexpected late-night visitor was the princess, Emilia.
“Nanny!”
The moment the door opened, Emilia threw her arms around my knees.
“Your Highness? What are you doing here at this hour…”
“Her Highness insisted she simply had to see the nanny.”
The pronunciation was unnaturally crisp.
The one who had escorted Emilia all the way to my quarters was one of Somnia’s doll maids.
“You…”
I frowned the instant I saw the maid’s face.
“You can change your appearance too?”
“Is it uncomfortable?”
The maid before me looked astonishingly like me—ash-brown hair, green eyes with that strange luster. At first glance, it would be hard to tell us apart.
“The owner of the Golden Goose instructed me to do this. She said that if the nanny suddenly left her post, it might invite unnecessary suspicion.”
That was a possibility I hadn’t considered.
While I inwardly admired Somnia’s meticulousness, I couldn’t quite hide my discomfort.
“If it bothers you, I can return to my original form.”
“No, it’s fine. The Golden Goose owner is right. Keep that appearance until I return.”
The maid offered a faint smile and bowed her head.
“Then please speak freely. I will stand guard outside the door.”
For a doll, her sense of timing was eerily perfect.
She quietly closed the door and vanished.
“Naaanny.”
“Your Highness.”
I lifted the whimpering Emilia into my arms.
“Why aren’t you sleeping? Does Catherine know you’re here?”
“Mm-hmm. I didn’t tell Catherine. She went to bed early tonight.”
That made sense. The departure ceremony for the subjugation force was at dawn tomorrow; she would need rest if she wanted to see them off.
I gazed into Emilia’s eyes.
“What did you want to tell me?”
“Umm… nothing really.”
“Nothing? Then why…”
“I just wanted to sleep with Nanny.”
Emilia wrapped her arms around my neck and chattered on.
“It’s not raining tonight, and there’s no thunder. I thought Nanny wouldn’t come to Lia, so Lia came to Nanny instead.”
“...Are you having trouble sleeping?”
“Mm-hmm. I just want to sleep with Nanny.”
Those large eyes—so similar to Edwin’s—looked up at me.
“Can’t I?”
“You have your own bedroom, Your Highness. Sleeping here would be…”
If Catherine found out I’d let the princess sleep in my quarters, I could only imagine the scolding I’d receive.
“If Catherine finds out, she’ll be angry—”
“Shhhhh!”
Emilia scrunched her brow and pressed a finger to her lips.
“I said it’s a secret from Catherine!”
They were already making secrets between just the two of them.
Catherine would surely feel left out.
“There’s no helping it, then. It’s late, so go ahead and sleep here.”
“Kyaaaa! I’m so happy!”
Emilia rubbed her face vigorously against my cheek.
Tomorrow I would have to part—for a while—from this child who was like a dandelion seed.
For some reason, the thought left a hollow ache in my chest.
I’ll have to wake up even earlier tomorrow to finish packing.
I shoved the half-packed bag into a corner.
Then I raised my voice so the doll standing outside could hear.
“I will escort Her Highness out myself in the morning, so you may leave now.”
No reply came.
Only the presence beyond the door retreated at a measured pace.
“Then let’s sleep.”
“Umm? Can’t we play a little longer first?”
“You said you wanted to see His Highness Edwin off at dawn. If you want to wake up early, you need to sleep now.”
“Umm.”
I lay down on the bed with the reluctant Emilia still in my arms.
She immediately buried her face in my chest.
“...Nanny.”
“Yes.”
“Does Nanny love Lia?”
It was a completely unexpected question.
I stared down at the crown of her head nestled beneath my chin.
“Does Your Highness even know what love is?”
“I do!”
Emilia lifted her head with surprising force.
With a resolute expression, she declared, “Love is wanting to be together every single day!”
Wanting to be together every single day is love.
She has a point.
After all, when lovers finally promise marriage, it’s because they want to spend every day side by side.
I turned her words over in my mind before answering.
“Does Your Highness think I don’t want to be with you every day?”
Otherwise there would have been no reason for her to suddenly ask if I loved her.
Sure enough, Emilia’s lips pursed in a pout.
“Nanny loves Brother more than Lia. That’s why you’re going with him.”
So that’s how it looked to her.
I stroked her soft, springy curls.
“That’s not the reason. His Highness Edwin is heading into danger, so I’m going to protect him…”
“Then what about Lia? Who will protect Lia?”
“Catherine will be here. And the other maids as well.”
“Lia already knows that!”
Her cry was surprisingly sharp.
Emilia buried her face in my chest again and mumbled, “But Brother won’t be here, and Nanny won’t be here either. The maids said so. They said Nanny and Brother might not come back tomorrow.”
I was certain I had ordered the staff not to say anything upsetting in front of her.
I fought down the tension in my fingers and muttered, “Who told you that?”
“The new maids.”
Running their mouths when they were nothing but dolls.
I’d thought they had better judgment.
“Pay no attention to such nonsense.”
“How can I not!”
Emilia’s voice rose to a shrill pitch.
Tears shimmered at the corners of her eyes.
“If you don’t come back, we’ll never see each other again! Like Emma!”
It felt as if I’d been struck in the head.
I stared at Emilia in stunned silence.
“...That won’t happen.”
I gently cupped the back of her head.
“That will absolutely never happen.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I promise.”
Hadn’t I already made that vow at Emma’s grave?
That I would protect both Edwin and Emilia until the very end.
“I am the one who must safeguard not only His Highness Edwin but Her Highness Emilia as well. I’m only stepping away for a little while, but…”
I looked into those jewel-like eyes that sparkled up at me and swore, “I will definitely return and stay by your side, Your Highness.”
“For real?”
“Yes.”
“You promise? You’ll come back no matter what? You can’t leave Lia behind!”
“Of course not.”
Only after making me repeat the promise several times did Emilia finally begin to doze off.
“Then Lia will keep… keep waiting…”
Perhaps it was the warmth of the young princess’s body.
Even I was overtaken by drowsiness earlier than usual.
Coo, coo, coo.
The call of a wood pigeon drifted in through the window.
I patted Emilia’s back and slowly closed my eyes.
The last night at the 3rd Prince’s Palace before leaving for the subjugation campaign faded away like that.
“Your Highness, please take care of yourself. Never skip meals. When you sleep, make sure the blanket covers you all the way to your neck. And…”
Catherine clutched Edwin’s shoulders, pouring out worried instructions before biting her lip.
“And absolutely do not overdo it. No matter what anyone says, your life must always come first. Do you understand?”
“Am I a child? Don’t worry so much.”
You are a child. That’s exactly why I’m worried.
Catherine grumbled under her breath and dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief.
“I really can’t stop you. How is it that Emilia is more mature than a fully grown adult?”
Edwin gave a light kiss to Emilia’s forehead where she rested in Catherine’s arms.
“Brother will be back soon, Lia. You have to guard the palace well, all right?”
“Yes! Trust only Lia!”
Watching the siblings’ farewell, Catherine teared up once more.
She wiped her eyes and then looked at me standing beside Edwin, startled.
“Nanny… is that you?”
“Who else would it be?”
“No, with that disguise you really don’t look like yourself. You look like an ordinary young man.”
“That’s fortunate.”
I swept back my now-short hair—cut as short as any man’s.
It was the length I had always kept during my days as Kayla, so it didn’t feel strange.
What felt stranger was the unnaturally deep black color I had dyed it.
“Your Highness Edwin. We must leave now if we are to join the Gloria Knights on time.”
“Right.”
Edwin mounted his horse with a brave expression.
It was the same horse he had ridden with me during the hunting festival.
“Then I’ll be going.”
I checked once more that the luggage was securely fastened.
Then I swung lightly onto my own horse.
“Everyone, please stay well.”
As Edwin and I pulled our reins, the 3rd Prince’s Palace receded quickly behind us.
From our backs came the worried voices of those who remained.
“You two must return safely!”
“Don’t you dare die!”
“Come back soon, Brother! Nanny!”
Before the sun had even risen.
It was the moment the curtain rose on the allied subjugation campaign.
Thud-thud-thud-thud-thud.
From the early hours, the sound of countless hooves thundered across the land.
The empire’s vast army was galloping forward at tremendous speed.
“It will take another three days to reach the first staging point.”
“Three days?”
Edwin turned to me in surprise.
“The staging point is that far? I was told the areas where monsters appear are only a day’s ride away…”
Edwin frowned against the strong headwind.
“Then where exactly is the first operation zone?”
“...The borderlands,” I answered after a brief hesitation, then added, “The region adjacent to the Adamant Kingdom.”