A Stormy Night (2)
"Nanny?"
Emilia sat up with a start and called out to me.
As if it had been waiting for her voice, the door swung open.
"So you really weren't sleeping."
I stood in the doorway in my nightclothes, lantern in hand.
"Nanny—!"
Tears still clinging to her lashes, Emilia flung herself into my skirts.
"I came by because it looked like your light had gone out."
I lifted the little girl who had latched onto me and carried her back to the bed. After setting the princess down, I moved the flame from my lantern to the one in her room.
"Ria didn't turn it off. It was already dark when Ria woke up."
"It must be the storm. The wind probably snuffed it out."
I checked the window seams and drew the latch even tighter.
"Then I'll leave you be."
"Nanny!"
Emilia caught my sleeve the instant I turned to go.
"What is it?"
"Nanny, Ria is scared..."
Before she could finish, the sky answered for her.
The little princess burst into loud sobs.
"Ria’s scared! Ria hates lightning!"
"Then, if you’ll allow me."
Without waiting for permission, I climbed onto the bed and settled beside her. I gathered Emilia close and pulled the blanket over our heads until the world vanished beneath soft layers of silk and down.
"This should help muffle the noise."
Emilia’s eyes widened in the dark.
The thunder really did sound farther away now, like a distant growl instead of a monster at the window.
"How is it?"
"Mm… quieter."
"Still frightened?"
"Only a little."
She stared at me through the gloom. Though she couldn’t see my face, she could hear my breathing and feel the warmth of my body. It seemed to comfort her.
Emilia fidgeted with her small fingers.
It really was strange. The darkness was the same, yet it felt safe.
Emma used to do this too.
I thought of the previous nanny who was no longer with us. Even when lights were forbidden, on nights like this she would hold the little princess and sing lullabies until she drifted off.
Without realizing it, Emilia burrowed deeper into my arms. I stiffened at the trusting weight of her small body.
"Nanny."
"…Yes?"
"Aren’t you scared?"
"Of what?"
"The dark. And the thunder."
"No."
My voice came out flat, almost indifferent.
"Everything passes eventually."
"Passes?"
Night becomes morning. Thunder gives way to clear skies.
It always had. It always would.
"So there’s nothing to fear."
I stroked her soft hair with careful fingers.
"Your Highness doesn’t need to be afraid of any of this. It will all pass soon."
"Mm."
It will pass. This terrifying darkness, the screaming thunder—everything.
Emilia repeated my words like a charm and her eyelids began to droop. The reassurance, or perhaps the faint floral scent that clung to me, coaxed her toward sleep.
"Mmm… then what scares you, Nanny?"
"Me?"
"Yeah."
I stayed silent for a long time. Between the distant rolls of thunder, I watched the princess’s eyes flutter like moth wings.
"…Who knows."
I never finished the thought. My gaze remained fixed on her peaceful face long after she had fallen deeply asleep.
The stormy night slowly passed us by.
After that stormy night, Emilia clung to me even more fiercely.
"Nanny, play with Ria!"
"Nanny, eat with Ria!"
"Nanny, give Ria a piggyback!"
The increase in adorable whining was simply part of the package.
"Nanny, tell me an old story!"
"It’s already late, Your Highness. Shouldn’t you be going to sleep?"
"Ria will sleep if you tell a story."
The little princess pulled the silk blanket up to her chin, eyes shining like stars. It looked like bedtime on schedule was off the table again tonight.
As I swallowed a sigh, Edwin—who had been sitting beside us—spoke up.
"Just tell her one. It’s not that hard."
Ever since he’d heard what happened during the storm, Edwin had taken to staying with his sister until she fell asleep before returning to his own room. His love for her was absolute.
"What sort of story would you like?"
"A princess story!"
A princess asking for a princess story. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it.
"But you are a princess, Your Highness."
"Ria isn’t a princess. Ria is an imperial princess."
Wasn’t that the same thing? This was harder than I expected.
I fell into thought.
A princess story…
What could I possibly tell her? The princesses I had known in my previous life came in two varieties: those who wanted political enemies assassinated, and those who wanted unfaithful husbands removed. Neither tale seemed appropriate for a child not yet ten years old.
"Another princess story?"
Edwin frowned and cut his sister off.
"Aren’t you sick of princess stories yet, Ria?"
"Not at all. Don’t you like princesses, brother?"
"…I hate them."
"Why? Princesses are pretty and kind!"
"They’re weak."
His voice dropped, as though he were remembering someone unpleasant.
"I hate weakness."
"Then do you hate Ria too?"
Emilia’s eyes filled with disappointment.
"Ria is weak too."
"Idiot. You’re a baby, so of course you’re weak."
Edwin gently pinched her nose and smiled.
"Besides, I’ll protect you, so it’s fine."
"That’s right! Brother is a prince! Princes are the strongest in the whole world!"
"You’re only realizing that now?"
They were adorable. Still, the boy who couldn’t even beat a single servant was talking about protection? I nearly scoffed.
"Then who protects you, Your Highness the Prince?"
"What? Well…"
Edwin faltered, caught off guard by my question. Then, as if embarrassed, he raised his voice in defiance.
"You can protect me! You’re my nanny!"
I paused for half a heartbeat.
"Your Highness."
"What? What! Got a complaint?"
"You mustn’t wait for others to protect you. You need to learn to protect yourself."
His eyes widened. Then he chewed his lip, brow furrowing.
"What? So you’re saying you won’t protect me?"
"Of course I will. Protecting you is only natural for your nanny."
"Then what?"
"But I cannot stay at your side every hour of every day."
"That’s—!"
He started to argue, then clamped his mouth shut. After shooting me a resentful glare, he turned away.
"Hmph. Making a fuss over one little joke. I can protect myself just fine!"
"If you say so."
"I do!"
His voice rose, thick with sulky pride.
"I don’t need anyone watching over me. I can handle myself."
"Then I’m glad."
I reached over and extinguished the lantern beside their beds.
"It’s truly time to sleep now."
"Ehhh! But the princess story!"
"Ah… the princess story."
I had promised, hadn’t I? I glanced at the moon floating beyond the window and bowed.
"The hour is far too late. Both of you should sleep."
"Aaaaah—! Nanny, you said you’d tell me!"
Emilia’s whine tugged at me, but there was nothing I could do. I could hardly tell a child the story of a princess who ordered the death of her cheating husband and the maid he had taken to his bed.
"Instead, I’ll ask the head maid to visit tomorrow. She knows far more interesting tales than I do."
"Really? Catherine’s going to tell it?"
"Yes."
I hadn’t actually asked her yet, but I was certain she would agree. I felt a pang of guilt toward Catherine, yet it couldn’t be helped. Otherwise I would have been forced to invent some harmless story on the spot until Emilia finally drifted off.
"Sleep well, both of you."
At last, my duties as nanny for the day were safely concluded.
Now it was time for me.
"Nanny, did you sleep poorly last night?"
Catherine watched me yawn for the tenth time and her expression grew worried.
"Something like that."
I covered my mouth as another yawn escaped. I had been training alone in my room and hadn’t even noticed the sky growing light.
I suppose I have no room to talk about having leisure time.
If I ever wanted to leave this place and discover the truth behind my death, I needed to make this body useful first.
The problem is that no matter how diligently I train, this body refuses to keep up.
In my previous life I had been a natural martial genius. Trying to perform an assassin’s regimen in the body of an ordinary woman felt like slow torture.
"I simply tossed and turned a little."
"Shall I brew you some herbal tea that helps with deep sleep?"
"No, it’s fine."
I rubbed my bleary eyes and waved the offer away. Catherine planted her hands on her hips.
"This won’t do. Go lie down for at least thirty minutes."
"Pardon?"
"Nanny, your eyes aren’t even focusing. How do you expect to look after Their Highnesses in that condition? Am I wrong?"
She practically pushed me toward the door.
"I’ll watch the children while you rest. Go on."
"Still…"
I disliked pushing my responsibilities onto others. I hesitated.
Emilia and Edwin were chattering happily over breakfast. Surely a short nap wouldn’t hurt.
It’s not as if they have no one else to look after them.
In the end, I couldn’t resist the pull of sleep.
"Then I’ll leave them with you for a little while."
"Of course. Don’t worry at all."
I tried to slip away quietly, but the children turned to look at me with those bright, innocent eyes. The sight made my chest tighten with unexpected guilt.
"You haven’t even finished eating," Edwin complained, clearly displeased.
"Your Highness, it seems Nanny had a restless night. Perhaps we should let her rest a short while?"
"Restless night?"
He shot me a reproachful glance.
"She went to bed early yesterday. What was she doing that she couldn’t sleep?"