Reflection (1)
After the uproar in the central garden, we returned safely to the Third Prince’s Palace.
I immediately examined Emilia’s injuries. Fortunately, the boy only had severe bruises on his skin; neither bones nor muscles were damaged. For a growing child to be kicked and escape with nothing worse than this was truly lucky.
“I’m so sorry. Truly sorry, Your Highness. If I… if I hadn’t left my post, none of this would have happened!”
Catherine, meanwhile, was horrified when she saw the deep purple bruises on Emilia. She couldn’t stop crying until the princess’s treatment was complete. Sitting by the bedside with her own face swollen from weeping, she looked utterly pitiful.
“Crying won’t heal Her Highness’s wounds. So please stop. You’ll wake her.”
“N-Nanny…”
I ignored the sniffling Catherine and gathered ointment and a towel.
“Why did you leave your post so carelessly?”
“W-well…”
“You wouldn’t have been able to take responsibility if anything had happened to Their Highnesses, would you?”
At my words, the tears streaming from Catherine’s eyes poured down even harder. Seeing those large, guilt-filled eyes made my own heart twist uncomfortably.
“…As the nanny, leaving my post was the greatest mistake. It wasn’t only your fault.”
“N-no! That’s not true! You did nothing wrong, Nanny! It’s because I stepped forward without knowing my place, insisting on attending Their Highnesses…”
“Enough. What’s done is done. We simply must ensure nothing like this ever happens again.”
“Hic… Yes! It will never happen again! Never!”
Catherine wiped her tears and nodded vigorously.
I rose from my seat.
“Then I’ll go see His Highness Edwin. I’ll call a maid to watch over Her Highness the Princess…”
“No, I’ll stay here with her today.”
“What about your duties as head maid?”
“They can wait until tomorrow. Children are fragile. She might develop a fever later, or there could be other aches…”
Catherine couldn’t tear her eyes away from the princess. Her kind, light-brown gaze was drenched in regret and sorrow.
“I understand. In that case…”
I quietly left the room. A decent sinner needed time to atone on her own.
“I’m coming in.”
I opened the door to the prince’s room without waiting for a response to my knock.
Edwin stood motionless before the window. Outside, a heavy rain had begun to pour.
“Your Highness, your wounds…”
“What about Emilia?”
He asked while still staring out the window. There was no strength in his voice.
“Her Highness the Princess finished treatment a short while ago and has fallen asleep.”
“Was she badly hurt?”
“Only severe surface bruises. She’ll recover quickly.”
The prince gave a small nod at my answer.
“You need to treat your own wounds as well, Your Highness.”
“I’m fine.”
“I saw an injury on your face earlier. Let me apply the ointment…”
I approached Edwin and reached out. At that moment, he struck my arm away and shouted.
“I said I’m fine—!”
The medicine container clattered loudly as it rolled across the floor.
“Ah…”
Edwin was flustered by his own actions, at a loss for what to do. He hunched his shoulders and raised his voice unnecessarily.
“I told you I’m fine, so why—ugh!”
“That doesn’t look fine to me.”
In an instant, I had seized his chin. Edwin’s face flushed crimson.
“W-what are you doing?! Touching a prince’s face so casually is—”
“Your Highness, when you realize your own fault, you should direct your anger at yourself. Not at others.”
My cold, emotionless voice made the young prince’s eyes tremble.
“So do not blame others in this manner.”
Edwin’s eyelashes quivered. Without a word, he lowered his gaze.
He’s finally behaving.
Only then could I examine Edwin’s wound. He had taken only a single punch, yet his lip was split.
“You were hit properly.”
“Ow, that hurts!”
“You said you were fine earlier.”
While holding the whining boy in place, I applied the ointment. Fortunately, it seemed only his face had been struck.
“Today, Your Highness Edwin committed two mistakes.”
“What?”
“The first was leaving the prince’s palace with the princess without any attendants.”
I released his chin.
“The second was charging at an opponent stronger than yourself without any plan whatsoever.”
“Then in that situation, was I supposed to just watch like a coward?!”
“The weak must be cowardly by nature.”
Edwin’s eyes widened at my words.
“That is how they survive.”
Edwin scrunched his face and raised his voice.
“Is surviving all that matters?! Even if you’re treated worse than an insect, is just surviving enough?!”
“Of course.”
I answered firmly, my face expressionless.
“In life, nothing takes precedence over survival.”
“But…!”
“And resistance from someone who doesn’t know their place only provokes the opponent’s anger.”
Edwin’s face crumpled at my words, clearly wounded.
“Then I should have just stood by while Emilia was kicked?!”
“You should have dodged.”
“…What?”
For a moment, his large blue eyes wavered.
“From the beginning, Your Highness remained silent even when the Second Prince compared Her Highness Emilia to a beast. You also stayed silent when he poured tea on her hand.”
I asked with an expressionless face.
“Why couldn’t you endure until the end?”
“That’s… that’s because—!”
“Shall I answer for you? The first two incidents were simply bearable. Becoming a little cowardly would have allowed you to let them pass.”
Edwin’s face burned bright red.
Clenching his fists, he argued back.
“Well, verbal insults can just be ignored, and the tea wasn’t even hot…!”
“I am not criticizing your cowardice. On the contrary, I believe you handled it well.”
I looked down at Edwin with cool eyes.
“The problem was the last part. You were far too reckless.”
If he had simply remained cowardly, the situation would not have escalated. The problem arose because he had acted recklessly without any preparation at the end.
“If it had been me, I would have flattered the Second Prince, restrained Her Highness Emilia, and found some way to escape that place.”
Even if it meant being called a coward, that would have been the best course for the current Edwin.
“Your Highness, do you remember the promise you made to Her Highness the Princess last night?”
I gazed into his large, clear eyes and continued.
“A promise to protect someone is not something to be made lightly.”
Edwin bit his lip at my words.
“If His Majesty had not intervened at the perfect moment, no one knows what might have become of both of you.”
“I… I…”
Edwin finally hung his head.
“You said you would not live as a coward. But for now, it would be better if you did.”
I continued, looking at his dejected crown.
“For Her Highness Emilia’s sake, and for your own.”
Even to my own ears, the voice sounded utterly cold, devoid of any emotion. But it could not be helped.
After all, I won’t be able to help like this again in the future.
I looked at Edwin, who remained silently bowed, then turned my back.
I was about to quietly leave the prince’s room when—
“Wait.”
Edwin was now staring at me, his eyes filled with questions.
“But how did you know Emilia had gone through something like that?”
He frowned, as if he couldn’t understand.
“You only appeared while I was fighting with Brother Lloyd.”
What an unnecessarily sharp child.
I glanced sideways for a moment before answering honestly.
“I arrived at that place even earlier than that.”
“What? Then you saw everything that happened to both Emilia and me?”
Edwin looked up at me with wounded eyes.
“And yet you just kept watching until the end before coming out?”
“Yes.”
I had reached the scene exactly when Edwin found Emilia. But I had deliberately stayed back.
It was because of what Catherine had said upon seeing the Second Prince.
What do we do?! His Highness the Second Prince torments His Highness Edwin whenever he sees him!
Her words had overlapped with the terror on Edwin’s face. So I had watched on purpose. I wanted to see whether he could truly handle it alone, even against an opponent he feared.
“Why? You’re my nanny! You said you’d protect me!”
Edwin wore the face of someone who had been betrayed.
“You’re supposed to be on my side! So why—!”
He grabbed the hem of my skirt and tugged desperately.
“Why didn’t you help? Why did you just watch?”
I looked down at the young prince.
A pure, innocent child. One who could so easily declare he would protect others and refuse to be cowardly. That was precisely why I wanted him to realize it painfully—the true weight of the words he had spoken.
I slowly pried the boy’s hands from my skirt.
“I helped you as much as I was able.”
Simply intervening in a fight between two princes had been a grave risk for me. A mere nanny could have been executed for meddling in the affairs of princes. In truth, if the Emperor or the Adamanth King had not stepped forward in that moment, the one who would have been in real danger was me.
“Your Highness, remember this well.”
I spoke to the young prince with genuine sincerity.
“As long as you remain weak, you cannot protect yourself, others, or anything at all without becoming a coward.”