The First Test (2)
“…Rachel?”
Edwin murmured the nanny’s name in a daze.
Meanwhile, Rachel had hurled her whole body into the flank of the monster lunging at the prince and rolled across the ground.
While the creature staggered sideways from the impact, she launched an immediate counterattack.
Her movements were so fluid it seemed impossible for a human to move that fast.
In an instant, Rachel drove her dagger into the monster’s slick nape.
Kyaaaaah—!
Unfortunately, instead of slicing through its windpipe, the strike only seemed to enrage it further.
Contrary to its appearance, the monster’s hide was remarkably thick.
The dagger she had thrust with all her strength left only a tiny scratch and appeared to have done little real damage.
Yet Rachel didn’t falter.
Far from it—she charged the monster again without hesitation.
She dodged its teeth and claws with ease, repeatedly stabbing the same spot.
Thud. Thud. Crunch.
Until the small gash became a gaping wound.
Her hands never stopped.
The way she fought the monster made her look like a beast herself.
Just like two monsters tearing into each other.
While Edwin watched with a stunned expression, the battle finally reached its conclusion.
Thump.
The monster’s massive body crashed to the ground with a heavy thud.
The victor was his nanny, Rachel.
“Tsk.”
The dagger I’d stolen from the bandit was ruined, its edge completely gone.
It had already been old, and my desperate force had finished it off.
I tossed the useless weapon to the ground and turned around.
Edwin was staring at me with a completely dazed face.
He looked even worse than when we first met.
His hair was matted with dirt and twigs, both hands were covered in cuts, and the cuffs of his pants and his shoes were shredded.
“Rachel… how did you…?”
His wide eyes still shimmered with unshed tears.
Well, he had just escaped death. It was only natural.
“How? I ran, of course.”
“No, that’s not what I meant…”
He looked flustered by my blunt reply.
Of course he’d want to know how an ordinary nanny had managed to kill a monster.
But I had no intention of giving him the answer he was looking for.
I can’t possibly tell him. Absolutely not.
How could I explain to a child that I wasn’t the real Rachel, but the former leader of an assassin organization in my previous life?
In the end, I deliberately changed the subject.
“First, let’s start with a smack.”
“What? Ow!”
Edwin clutched his head after I rapped my knuckles against it.
He stared at me with round eyes and a gaping mouth, utterly confused.
“Who told you to do something so reckless? Using yourself as bait against a monster—did you actually think you were capable of that, Your Highness?”
“I…”
“It can’t even be called bait. What you did was nothing short of suicide. Why in the world would you do something so insane? Have you forgotten every piece of advice I gave you about His Highness Lloyd?”
My sharp tone made Edwin shrink back.
“There’s nothing more pointless in this world than throwing your life away for nothing!”
Under normal circumstances I would have stopped there, but right now I couldn’t calm down.
He didn’t even have the power to protect himself, yet he’d tried to face a monster. Had he completely lost his mind?
“Don’t you value your one and only life!”
It had been a long time since I’d raised my voice like this.
Edwin curled into himself, eyes wide with shock.
“Why aren’t you answering? Say something! You have a mouth, don’t you, Your Highness!”
Edwin took a long time to steady his breathing before his lips pushed out in a pout.
In a nasal voice thick with suppressed tears, he finally spoke.
“I don’t understand why you’re so angry.”
He kept wiping at his tears with his palm as he continued.
“I wanted to help too! Everyone gets hurt and dies because of me! I hate it! I don’t want to see that anymore!”
His trembling voice grew louder until it became a near-wail.
“It’s all because of me! Everything is my fault, so this time I didn’t want it to happen again! I wanted to be useful too! But I can’t do what you do! I thought about it a lot before I acted!”
“What kind of thinking? The kind that says it doesn’t matter if someone like me dies?”
“That’s…!”
Instead of answering, Edwin hung his head.
I looked down at the crown of his round head and went on.
“I ran into Leo on my way here. He was sobbing. He was terrified that you were in danger, Your Highness.”
I had also heard what Edwin had said to him—that unlike himself, Leo was someone the village needed, so he should run and survive.
“…Leo?”
He seemed to find it hard to believe that someone he’d only met today would worry about him.
“After watching you get chased by a monster right in front of him, it would be stranger not to worry.”
I crouched down in front of the boy who was staring at his toes.
“Your Highness, you said you didn’t know why I was angry.”
Edwin sniffled and gave a small nod.
I pulled the ointment from my pocket and gently opened his right hand.
Blood welled from the palm where a stone had cut him.
“The reason I’m angry with you, Your Highness, is exactly what I said before—because you charged in without properly assessing your opponent.”
Courage and recklessness are separated by a single sheet of paper.
And that single sheet can sometimes mean the difference between life and death.
Those who walk the line between the two must develop the eye to tell them apart.
“And more than anything.”
I applied the ointment to his wound.
It was deep enough that it would probably leave a scar.
“…I was angry that you were thinking that way.”
The Edwin standing before me was a child before he was a prince.
An innocent being with neither the power to protect himself nor the ability to distinguish good from evil was already deeming himself worthless.
When the world was filled with vile adults who truly deserved death, it was unacceptable for a child like this to think so little of himself.
“What I’m saying is that not everything you’ve experienced in your life is your fault, Your Highness. So stop blaming yourself.”
“But…”
“There are no buts, Your Highness.”
I spoke firmly.
“Your only mistake today was recklessly charging at that monster. Do you understand?”
Edwin opened his mouth to reply but quickly nodded when he met my fierce gaze.
Every choice carries responsibility.
But this boy had never been given any real choice until now.
Yet here he was, blaming himself for everything.
The thing with Lloyd… I was too harsh.
Back then I had no intention of taking responsibility for Edwin or Emilia, so I had deliberately acted cold to push them away.
But the situation is different now.
I took out a clean handkerchief and wrapped his wound.
“You know…”
Edwin stared at his bandaged hand for a long moment before murmuring in a small voice.
“…I want to become strong like you.”
I paused and met his eyes.
His vivid blue gaze held both despair and desperate longing.
“Can I?”
“Your Highness, when we return.”
I rested my hand on the young prince’s shoulder as I looked into eyes that seemed ready to spill over with tears.
“I will help you so that you can make any ‘choice’ you wish.”
Edwin tilted his head, confused by my answer.
“What does that mean?”
“It means,”
I smiled at him, showing my teeth.
“I will make you stronger than anyone else, Your Highness.”
Right after I had barely rescued the prince from the monster’s jaws.
The sage greeted us with a perfectly calm expression as we returned to the house.
“Well, isn’t it fine as long as both of you survived?”
He remained utterly composed even after hearing that the two boys had nearly been devoured by a monster.
“For someone who deliberately drove them into danger, you don’t look the least bit remorseful.”
“Deliberately?”
The sage bristled at my words.
“Hey, no matter how eccentric I am, I’m not crazy enough to throw children into a monster’s mouth! I’m still perfectly sane!”
“Your Highness, I apologize. I overlooked the fact that this man is half-mad. Let’s go. We’ll need to find a different master.”
“Are you ignoring me right now? When your elder is speaking—!”
Meanwhile, Edwin’s face had gone deathly pale, as if the conversation between us had deeply shaken him.
“Then… you knew a monster would appear and still sent Leo and me there…?”
“For heaven’s sake, I told you that’s not it! Now even a brat who still smells of milk is ignoring my words?”
The sage thumped his chest in frustration before his expression suddenly grew serious.
“Fine. Let’s say I did send you there knowing a monster would appear. Would that be a problem?”
“What?”
“In the first place, where in this world is there a test without trials? Don’t you agree?”
The sage narrowed his eyes as he looked down at Edwin, who was far smaller than himself.
“If you had used Leo as a shield and run away, I would have grabbed you by the collar myself and thrown you into the monster’s mouth.”
Edwin hiccupped in shock at the sage’s words.
“Of course, if you had charged the monster head-on and died, that would have been the end of it. I have no interest in taking a fool like that as my disciple.”
“You didn’t consider that someone might die while running away. And you call yourself a great sage.”
“I don’t accept unlucky children as disciples either. It would bring me bad luck.”
This unrivaled mad old man.
I was grinding my teeth when he turned to face Edwin.
“That aside, have you found the answer to my question, young prince?”
“Huh?”
“I told you to prove whether you were a child worth teaching.”
What was there to prove in this situation?
I was tempted to prove that even a sage could die from a monster bite.
“Your Highness, it seems my judgment was mistaken.”
I glared at the prickly-faced sage and stepped protectively in front of Edwin.
“A man like this is unworthy of the position of master. Let’s find someone—”
At that moment, a small voice came from behind me. It was Edwin.
“I kept thinking about it. I still don’t really understand what kind of ‘anyone’ you meant by ‘anyone.’”
Edwin’s face was surprisingly serious.
“But if ‘anyone’ means someone who isn’t any different from other people, then I…”
His vivid blue eyes turned toward the sage.
“I don’t think I can become your disciple, Sage. I’m sorry.”