Love & Poison (6)
“Nanny, I feel like I’m going to die.”
“Why all of a sudden?”
“Because His Highness is just too adorable!”
Catherine, who had been hiding in the bushes observing Edwin’s every move, suddenly slumped to the ground, clutching at her chest.
“Ugh, our Highness is so cute my heart is in danger!”
“People don’t die from seeing something cute.”
“Ah, it’s just a figure of speech!”
Catherine made a face at my words, then pointed toward Edwin beyond the bushes.
The boy’s mouth was stretched ear to ear after receiving a personal birthday invitation from Bridget just moments ago.
‘I was worried about how to console him if he got rejected, but it worked out well.’
Come to think of it, this might be an opportunity.
‘Jerome definitely called him a daughter-obsessed fool.’
If the Crowner young lady genuinely came to like Edwin, we might be able to bring Duke Crowner to Edwin’s side.
I had never seen a father-in-law who could simply overlook a man who lived and died by his daughter.
‘Of course, we can’t rule out the possibility of him becoming a traitor to the empire.’
After all, to a doting father, a prospective son-in-law was exactly that kind of dangerous existence.
I pondered while Catherine rolled around on the floor shouting “His Highness is so cute.”
‘Anyway, for now, the only option is to make the Crowner young lady cherish Edwin.’
Specifically, how to win over Duke Crowner’s daughter.
On the way back after escorting Emilia to the sage’s cabin where she had insisted on staying, I found Edwin sitting on the lawn, clutching his head and groaning.
Catherine squatted beside him, ruffling her own hair in shared distress.
“What are you two doing?”
Were they engaged in some kind of hair-root strengthening exercise together?
“Rachel!”
The moment Edwin saw me, his eyes drooped and he began to whine.
“No matter how much I think about it, I still don’t know what gift to give Bridget!”
“Hmm.”
With only three days left until the Crowner young lady’s birthday, Edwin had yet to decide on a present.
“How about money? I’ve never met anyone who dislikes it.”
“Kyaaaa! Nanny, take that back right now!”
Catherine lunged at me in horror.
“What kind of boy gives the girl he likes money for her birthday? It kills the entire mood!”
“Then do you dislike receiving money on your own birthday, Catherine?”
“No, that’s not what I mean! This is a child’s birthday! It’s not like an adult handing out allowance!”
I see. How strange. When I was young, money was always the best gift.
“Besides, she’s a duke’s daughter. She already has more money than she knows what to do with. Giving her cash would only make you look insincere.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes! A true gift includes the time you spend worrying about the other person. In that sense, money is the absolute worst.”
It was a convincing enough argument, yet I found it difficult to agree completely.
The only universal truth I had learned in my life as an assassin was that money reigned supreme.
“Your Highness, do you have any idea what the young lady might like?”
“Something she might like?”
Edwin frowned at Catherine’s question and sank into thought. Then, as if recalling something, he continued in an uncertain voice.
“Flowers? Bridget said there isn’t a flower garden at her house.”
“Does the young lady like flowers?”
“It seemed that way.”
“Giving flowers isn’t a bad idea.”
Still, it felt rather modest for the birthday of a duke’s daughter—unless one were to gift her an entire garden, of course.
Above all, I simply could not understand the appeal.
“Flowers? What do you even do with them? You can’t eat them, they serve no purpose, and they require constant care.”
“Oh, Nanny. Does every gift need to be useful? Flowers are beautiful and fragrant. That in itself is their purpose.”
“But once they wither, they smell and attract insects, don’t they?”
“Ugh, you really have zero sense of romance.”
Catherine shot me a disapproving glare before changing the subject.
“Then how about pairing the bouquet with another gift?”
“That’s a good idea. So we stuff the bouquet with plenty of gold coins…”
“Nanny, please just stay quiet.”
This woman wouldn’t even let me speak now.
I glared at her in annoyance, but instead of flinching, she widened her eyes and glared right back. When I parted my lips in surprise, she stuck her tongue out at me.
“Ah!”
While I pondered how best to repay Catherine for that, Edwin suddenly sprang to his feet.
“I just had a great idea! I’m going to prepare!”
“Is there anything I can help with?”
To my courteous question, Edwin shook his head.
“No! I can do it alone. Actually, I want to try doing it by myself.”
“I see. Then please tell me if you need any assistance.”
“Yeah, thank you! I’ll take some personal time until training starts!”
Edwin flashed a bright smile and dashed toward his room. He looked unusually excited.
“Mmm~ Love really is incredible~ To transform our prince like this~!”
Catherine giggled as she watched his retreating figure.
“Oh my, first love is just too adorable! Don’t you agree, Nanny?”
“I don’t describe someone willingly walking into hell as adorable.”
This time Catherine didn’t even bother responding.
She rested her chin on her hand and continued giggling dreamily.
“Goodness, did you see the look in His Highness Edwin’s eyes? In all the time I’ve worked at the Third Prince’s Palace, I’ve never seen them sparkle like that before.”
“I see.”
Catherine clasped her hands together, pressed them to one cheek, and twisted her body shyly.
“People in love really do seem overflowing with life. Like a vital source of energy. I’m getting butterflies just watching. Don’t you feel the same, Nanny?”
“A vital source of energy. Then when love ends, life itself would end as well—once all that vitality has burned away.”
“Nanny!”
Catherine finally burst out.
“Why are you so cynical! Have you never even been in love?”
“…No, I have.”
“Then why do you frown every single time the word ‘love’ is mentioned?”
Catherine stared at me in genuine confusion, then her eyes suddenly widened as if she had realized something. She lowered her voice and asked carefully.
“Ah, by any chance… was the person you used to date a truly awful man?”
At that moment, Ian rose unbidden in my mind.
By the time he killed me, he had become such garbage that calling him “awful” felt like an understatement.
But had he always been that way? I wasn’t sure.
- Kyla, I thought of you on the way back.
- Kyla, what are you doing alone?
- Everyone’s so stupid. If they knew how gentle you are, they’d fall over in shock.
- I love you, Kyla.
You who always approached me first whenever I stood apart from the group.
You who alone called me kind when the others branded me a woman without blood or tears.
You who confessed your love as easily as breathing.
And then you drove a poisoned blade into my back.
- Burn her. Until not even ashes remain.
You poured oil over my body and set it ablaze, as if to erase every trace of the person called Kyla from existence.
‘It’s not even funny.’
Once, those memories of Ian had been the anchor that carried me safely through the most dangerous missions. Now they were nothing more than a dark past I wished to forget.
‘They say falling in love fills you with vitality.’
I turned Catherine’s words over in my mind.
‘So is that why the end of love hurts enough to kill you?’
For the first time in a long while, I recalled the first month after waking in this body—the month I had spent in utter agony.
A time when sadness, rage, and betrayal had soaked me so thoroughly that even breathing had been difficult.
“Um, Nanny?”
Catherine’s voice pulled me back.
“Are you all right?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well…”
She gazed at me with eyes full of concern.
“Your face suddenly looked so sad.”
“…It’s your imagination.”
It seemed recalling those useless old memories had made my expression inappropriately sentimental. I quickly schooled my features.
“Don’t be too heartbroken, Nanny.”
It appeared Catherine had assumed my sadness stemmed from a painful past romance. She forced a cheerful tone and raised one fist encouragingly.
“Someday you’ll meet your own true love—”
“I don’t want to.”
“Huh?”
I cut her off sharply.
“I will never fall in love again.”
If love was an emotion that could both save and kill a person—if it truly worked that way—then I wanted no part of it.
I refused to entrust my life to a mere feeling ever again.
Never again.