What Are You?
The rain poured down without mercy.
“What the hell are you?”
Orsini’s face twisted into a scowl.
“Who are you to butt in?”
But Raphael didn’t even glance at Orsini. His gaze remained fixed solely on Canna. He waited. For her to give the order.
Canna stared at him in a daze. Her lips parted.
“Yes.”
It was a decision made without passing through her head.
“I don’t want to return to the Addis family.”
At that moment, Orsini’s face contorted like a yaksha. Raphael stepped forward. Orsini immediately blocked his path.
“What are you two?”
“Step aside, Sir Orsini. I will escort the Duchess.”
“Duchess my ass. We’ve been divorced for how long now?”
Orsini spat out a vicious curse.
“Who the hell are you to take her?”
“The Duchess does not wish to remain with you, sir.”
“That’s why I’m asking—what the fuck are you to her?!”
He looked ready to charge and tear Raphael apart like a wild beast. Yet Raphael spoke without the slightest tremor.
“This is my final warning. Sir Orsini, stand down.”
“Ha……”
Orsini’s lips twisted. Thick veins bulged violently across the back of his hand.
The atmosphere was so charged it seemed a punch would fly at any second. Canna quickly intervened.
“Orsini, don’t—”
But Orsini was faster. He swung his fist straight at Raphael’s face!
“Orsini!”
Fortunately, Raphael twisted his head and dodged. He caught the passing arm by the wrist and hurled Orsini away. The massive man’s body was dragged through the air with ridiculous ease.
Instead of falling disgracefully, Orsini spun with unnatural flexibility and landed on his feet. The moment he touched the ground, he charged again like a beast.
“Stop it!”
Canna stepped in front of Raphael. The lunging Orsini froze mid-stride.
His eyes, now inches from hers, truly looked like those of a wild animal. The killing intent pouring from them was so thick it seemed to drip.
“Move.”
His presence was so oppressive her toes went numb. Yet Canna was not afraid of him. Not even a little.
“You move, Orsini.”
Instead of retreating, she shoved his shoulder roughly. As expected, he yielded to the force without resistance, staggering back like a paper boat tossed on waves.
Canna finally understood the truth.
She understood it so well it was almost laughable.
“Why do you care where I go? Why do you care at all!”
Thud. She shoved his shoulder again, hard enough to count as a strike. He staggered back another step.
“Wherever I go, whoever I go with—don’t concern yourself. You have no right to do so.”
“So you’re really going with that bastard?”
Orsini snarled in protest.
“How can I trust that guy?”
“I don’t need your trust. And frankly, how could I ever trust you?”
“……What?”
“I can’t trust you, Orsini. I’d sooner trust a beggar on the street.”
In that instant, Canna realized how deeply her words had stabbed him. She could almost hear the sound of his face shattering into pieces.
And that was what made it funny.
That someone like Orsini would be so shaken. That he would feel pain from mere words like these.
“So get lost.”
She spat the cold command, then turned on her heel. She grabbed Raphael’s arm and strode away without looking back.
She could feel Orsini’s gaze boring into her from behind.
“……Hey.”
Orsini called after her. She ignored him. She didn’t slow down, didn’t even turn her head.
“Canna.”
He seemed to say something more.
But it was swallowed by the sound of rain and faded into nothing. It had to fade.
Canna refused to listen.
She didn’t want to hear it.
How many hours had they walked?
Raphael said he knew the way out of the forest. It was truly fortunate. Without him, she would have exhausted herself wandering in circles.
So she simply followed his back.
Eventually, it would end.
‘What would?’
What exactly was going to end?
Would anything truly end?
She had thought everything was nearly wrapped up. She had earned more money than she could ever need. The divorce was finalized. All that remained was to establish a separate household.
It had felt like a journey whose end was finally in sight…….
‘I guess I was mistaken.’
She had faced countless crises and come close to death several times, yet Canna had never once despaired. But now…….
She simply wanted to collapse.
Her head throbbed. Canna bit down on her trembling, cold lips.
Was it the shock that had split her life in two? Or the hours spent walking in the freezing rain? Her head hurt and her vision swam.
“Duchess?”
Canna blinked.
‘Huh?’
At some point, she had leaned her head against Raphael’s back.
The moment she realized it, her body slid downward. Raphael quickly caught and steadied her.
“Duchess, are you all right?”
“I’m fine……”
Her vision blurred. Amid the dizziness that shook her skull, Canna struggled to regain her senses.
“I’m fine. I’m fine, so let go.”
I have to pull myself together.
But despite her mind’s command, fever surged through her body. Her eyelids grew unbearably heavy.
No. She couldn’t pass out here. If she fainted in a place like this, she might actually die…….
“It’s all right.”
At that moment, Raphael spoke as if he could read her thoughts.
“Rest easy, Duchess.”
His voice was firm.
So firm that, perhaps, she could lean on it.
Before she knew it, Canna closed her eyes.
In the meantime, she had a brief dream.
“Happy birthday, Mom.”
It was from the time when Canna had been Juhwa.
Around the time Juhwa was twenty-two. She had created a one-of-a-kind perfume as a birthday gift for her mother.
“Thank you, Juhwa. My daughter really is the best.”
“Right? I’m the greatest present, aren’t I?”
“Yes. I’m so happy you grew up so well. When you were little I spoiled you so much I was afraid you’d turn out to be a complete brat, but……”
Then Seon-hong suddenly cut in.
“Mom, why didn’t you spoil me? Why am I stuck with Spartan training?”
Mother laughed.
“Because Mommy was too busy back then and couldn’t take care of Juhwa when she was a baby. Don’t be jealous, Lee Seon-hong.”
“Ugh. Fine. You two can team up. I’m going to play with Dad.”
The father who had been peeling an apple answered indifferently.
“I’m going to play with Seon-hui, though?”
It was a noisy, ordinary moment. A scene that had once been everyday life for them.
But the instant she opened her eyes, it vanished like a bubble. All that remained was a cold that pierced straight to the bone.
‘It’s cold.’
Canna opened her eyes, shivering violently.
‘Where am I……?’
Inside a narrow cave.
The crackle of a campfire burned right beside her, and in the distance came the sound of pouring rain.
“Are you awake?”
Canna turned her head weakly. Raphael was sitting beside her.
He too had been drenched in the cold dawn rain, yet unlike her, he showed no sign of feeling the slightest chill.
“Are you all right?”
“No.”
Her teeth chattered.
“I’m cold.”
It felt like she would freeze to death.
Canna hugged her pale, icy body. It was like holding a block of ice. Of course it was—her clothes were still soaked through.
“Take them off.”
If she stayed like this, she would either burn with a terrible fever or die of hypothermia.
“My clothes…… take them off……”
She no longer had the strength to lift a finger, so she simply asked. Or rather, it was closer to a command.
It didn’t matter.
Whatever it was, Raphael would obey her.
“And hold me.”
He would surely obey this too.
“Hold me. I’m so cold.”
She felt like she was going to die. She needed warmth.
She didn’t know whether it was because of the cold or because of loneliness.
“I feel like I’m going to freeze to death……”
Alexandro Addis.
No matter how much she hated him, no matter how much she refused to see him as a father, he had still been her father. That was why she had called him Father. Yet now he said he wasn’t even that.
So why had it shaken her so badly?
All this time she had wished for exactly this. She had prayed that the thread of fate tying her to him would be severed forever…….
‘No, no. I’m simply in shock. The truth I’ve known my entire life turned out to be a lie.’
“Seon-hui abandoned you and me—abandoned all of us—and returned to her own world.”
“She always missed her homeland. She said she had a young daughter and a husband waiting there.”
But Mom.
Couldn’t you have taken me with you?
Couldn’t you have made me part of your real family?
‘Of course not.’
Because I was the child born outside of marriage.
Father must have raised baby Juhwa all alone while Mother was missing, waiting for her. When she finally returned, he would have welcomed her with open arms.
What if Canna had been clinging to her at the time?
That happy family might never have existed. That was why Mother— even if it had been possible—would never, ever have taken her along.
It had been a truly motherly choice.
Setting a goal, coldly calculating the benefits, choosing the optimal path, and never looking back. That was the mother Canna knew.
Because Mother had taught her to be that way.
Because Canna herself was capable of being just as cold.
That was why, in this moment, the ground beneath her feet had crumbled away.
“Duchess.”
Even if she rolled through the mud, it would have been less miserable than this.
“I will commit a brief discourtesy.”
Canna lifted her heavy eyelids. His fingers caught the end of the ribbon at her chest and lifted it. He paused for a moment.
“Please forgive me.”
Then he pulled the ribbon. The knot came undone and the front of her dress fell open.
Raphael was extremely careful. He made sure his fingers never touched her skin as he grasped the fabric and drew it down.
The drenched cloth slid over her shoulders, across her chest, and down past her waist. At the end it brushed her toes and fell away like a shed skin.
Yet Canna felt not the slightest shame. It didn’t matter. Perhaps every nerve was so consumed by pain that the rest of her senses had gone numb.
The next moment, she heard the sound of Raphael unbuttoning his priestly robes. Then came the soft rustle of fabric sliding down.
He lifted her up and sat her on his thigh. The moment warmth touched her, Canna instinctively reached out. She wrapped her arms around his waist and clung to him. Their bare skin pressed together without a gap, sharing body heat.
Heat flooded in. It was warm.
More. Just a little closer.
But she knew this was wrong.
She knew she shouldn’t be sharing body heat skin-to-skin with her ex-husband’s close friend. She knew, and yet…….
No. In truth, it didn’t matter anymore.
If it could melt her frozen body.
If it could save her from this freezing cold and the loneliness of being left alone in the world.
“Does this not offend you?”
Raphael’s low voice resonated very close to her ear.
“Not at all.”
“Then is there any place that feels uncomfortable……”
“No. Just stay like this a little longer.”
Then silence fell. Neither of them spoke again.
Crackle, crackle. The flames consumed the wood.
In the quiet, their breathing stood out. The sound of water droplets falling from hair onto skin, the sound of swallowing, even the pulse of their hearts.
Canna breathed slowly.
It was warm.
At last, she felt like she might live.