Chapter 67
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Chapter 67
The Separate Palace was quite a distance from the Imperial Palace.
I walked slowly back to the Scroll Department.
'Hmm, I still have time before I need to return.'
The work had finished far more quickly than expected.
I'd thought I would need to organize the situation further, but the Emperor—whom I hadn't anticipated—had intervened.
'Well, that worked out.'
I kicked a pebble on the path with a light tap. Riedan's words were so absurd that I couldn't help but laugh.
To accuse me of treason simply because I rejected the Crown Prince's proposal of marriage—it was ridiculous.
That was merely an excuse; he was truly displeased that I held the position of Minister.
'Everything turned out well. You did good, Namia Loapi.'
Perhaps because there was no urgency, my pace grew slower and slower. Lunch time would arrive soon enough; I had plenty of time.
Kibon had also taken the morning off today.
He'd left early yesterday claiming he wasn't feeling well, and had extended it into leave for today as well.
'He knows when to make himself scarce. Really, I did well by myself....'
As I trudged along, another pebble caught my foot.
I kicked it once more with a soft tap.
[Your mother cherishes and treasures you so much....]
The Emperor's words kept echoing in my mind.
And the Empress's every gesture of restlessness when Jayden's name was mentioned.
[Of course a mother loves her child! How could you not know that? Hmm?]
As the Empress had said, was it truly something natural for any mother?
An impossible question surfaced in my thoughts.
'But why didn't my mother love me?'
I remembered my childhood, when I attended the Academy.
The day after I'd placed first on the entrance exam and received my first test scores.
The other children had worn gloomy expressions and whined.
[Oh no! My mother will be angry!]
[My mother grilled meat for me every day during exam period—she'll be so disappointed!]
[My mother's dream is for me to become an Imperial Palace civil servant....]
I alone sat calmly, holding my terrible test scores.
There was no one who would be disappointed that I had done poorly on an exam.
That fact itself was what disappointed me.
[Namia, did you do well? You were first, weren't you?]
[Right! Your mother must be so excited.]
My friends gathered around, and I shrugged my shoulders as I showed them my scores.
Looks of surprise fell upon me all at once. In their eyes—a mixture of pity and astonishment—I felt a moment of vertigo.
It was then that I realized how pathetic I truly was.
[Oh, oh no. Namia. Are you alright?]
[I saw your mother at the entrance ceremony. She looked quite strict!]
I'm going to get scolded. Mother must have had such high expectations.
My face hardened. I didn't know how to respond and momentarily stammered.
Well, Huan Loapi must have seen it well?
Her worried gaze still hadn't left me.
Eventually, I muttered in embarrassment, as if making an excuse.
So it should be fine. I mean, our mother...
Until then, I had never called the Baroness Loapi "mother."
But in that moment, those words escaped me without my realizing it.
Then Huan Loapi, who had been playing with other children nearby, let out a snort of laughter. He thrust his chin up and shouted.
That's right, our mother will be fine. Right, Namia Loapi?
I hung my head low. My face flushed intensely.
It was more shameful than failing the exam.
Our mother likes me far more than you. Far, far more.
The children stared at Huan Loapi and me in bewilderment, their eyes darting back and forth.
I couldn't say anything.
Right? Our mother doesn't even care about your grades.
As I remained silent, the children slowly drifted away, whispering behind me.
That evening at the Baron's Residence, Huan Loapi teased me relentlessly with a giggle, asking, "Hey, when did our mother become your mother?"
The Baroness Loapi, hearing the story from Huan Loapi, laughed as if it were absurd.
Your mother abandoned you and left. How could I claim you as mine?
Still, the Baroness Loapi allowed me to have dinner that evening.
Well, as promised, you did worse on the exam than our Huan Loapi, so that's enough.
That night, she was in an excellent mood. Huan Loapi's grades had satisfied her.
Our Huan Loapi's scores improved so much. The Treasury Department might even be possible. My, what a remarkable child.
Mother, give me more meat pie. It's delicious.
Really? You want more? Namia Loapi, give me your plate. That's the last piece.
Huan Loapi's good grades were also because I had extracted practice questions for him before the exam.
I passed over the meat pie I hadn't even tasted, sniffling. In the meantime, the stew was so delicious that I couldn't put down my spoon.
But that night.
I must have eaten too much stew, as my stomach turned. I vomited alone and rolled on the bathroom floor. I never even thought to wake the Baron and Baroness to ask for medicine.
I thought that if Mother had simply died from illness, I wouldn't have been quite so pathetic. I cried just a little at that thought.
It was strange.
Though it was all in the past, that night from my childhood—when I was utterly alone, bone-deep in solitude—suddenly came back to me.
'Looking at touching moments from another family, and here I am, all grown up, doing this. Namia Loapi, how ugly.'
But I had no place in that touching scene anyway.
Among other people's families, I had to know when to step back. It had always been that way.
'Just wait. Once Father returns... I'll have a family too.'
As I walked along looking at the ground, the pebble I had kicked earlier caught my foot again.
I kicked it once more with a soft tap.
The pebble tumbled and rolled away again. But...
"Huh?"
Someone's footstep crunched against the gravel with a sharp tap.
A long shadow stretched across the Imperial Palace Garden Path, reaching all the way to where I stood.
"...What?"
I widened my eyes as I recognized the young man standing before me.
"What are you doing here?"
Jet-black hair contrasted sharply with his rather pallid complexion.
It was Kibon, wearing that perpetually stoic expression of his.
"I thought you were coming in this afternoon. Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm fine."
Kibon spoke in a low voice.
A moment of silence fell between us—there simply wasn't much to say.
Yet strangely, I was glad to see him. Only then did I realize I disliked being alone.
'Get a grip. You can't be happy to see a subordinate just because you don't want to be alone!'
Honestly, subordinates were so convenient.
I could speak freely without fear of reprimand or criticism.
So there was nothing wrong with being together, but the odds were high it wasn't the same for him.
He'd face scolding and criticism if he spoke too freely.
"Well then, see you later..."
I was about to suggest we meet up later when Kibon spoke.
"Minister."
Kibon looked down at me, his voice low.
"Buy me dinner."
What?
I faltered at his unexpected words.
His expression remained blank, his tone flat, yet something felt distinctly out of place.
I couldn't quite explain it... but it was so unlike Kibon.
As I hesitated, Kibon added matter-of-factly.
"You said whenever I didn't want to eat alone, you'd always buy me dinner."
Ah, that's right...
[From now on, if you don't want to eat alone, I'll join you. Just ask me comfortably to buy you dinner.]
I had indeed said that.
"I don't want to eat alone today."
"R-really?"
"Including lunch, there's quite a bit of time."
Since Kibon was on half-day leave this morning, he didn't need to be at the Scroll Department Office.
Kibon glanced at his watch as he spoke.
"We can take our time with lunch today."
He spoke with remarkable confidence for someone about to mooch a meal.
Yet somehow... it was very much like Kibon.
There was something oddly arrogant about his tone, yet he maintained an attitude of perfect deference.
It was a peculiar combination I had never sensed from anyone else.
"Well... if that's what you'd like? I actually have quite a lot of high-end restaurant vouchers."
From my days as a junior staff member, Crown Prince Kiaros had given me an enormous stack of dining vouchers that remained largely unused. I pulled out my wallet entirely and showed Kibon all the vouchers, telling him to pick whatever he wanted.
"It's not that I'm worried about my money—it just so happens I have plenty of these vouchers I can use."
"This one looks good."
After deliberating for a moment, Kibon made his selection.
Then, as naturally as if it were the most obvious thing, he pointed to another voucher and spoke.
"And next time, we'll go here."
He even mentioned a third. At his sheer audacity, I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
"Anyone watching would think you're the one treating me."
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