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50.
"Did you wake up?"
She was beautiful.
Though Alicia had once preened before mirrors, admiring her own beauty, she was merely a pretty girl in Rebecca's ‌presence.
Her marble-like skin was so flawless that even a pinprick would leave no blemish, and her golden hair, as if woven from sunlight itself, gleamed brilliantly.
But her eyes above all.
Those blue eyes—as if she had submerged herself in the depths of the sea and the color had stained her irises—became so captivating when they crinkled that I wanted to hide away.
Staring blankly at Rebecca's lips, red as if she had bitten into fresh roses, Alicia burst into tears.
Was it because she had realized that no matter how long she desired it, she could never possess what Rebecca owned?
Or was it shame at ‌‌‌the thought of harming her gentle voice?
Rebecca embraced the weeping Alicia.
"It's alright. You've been ‌‌through so much, but I'll save you. Don't worry about anything."
Even her embrace was warm.
"Alicia! The desserts that arrived today are delicious. I brought some ‌‌‌because I wanted to feed them to you."

That warm memory pierced my chest like shards of glass.
I had never truly hated Rebecca for her kindness from the beginning.
No—rather, I had wanted to remain by her side forever.

"You could become like that too."
But Octavio was relentless. He whispered to me ceaselessly.
Eventually, my affection for Rebecca transformed into admiration, and admiration festered into ‌‌‌jealousy.
And as Zeppelin began to regard me with subtle, lingering glances more often, my desires began to stir.
I ‌‌‌could become Rebecca too.
And that conviction had been my driving force ever since.
Tears streaming down my ‌‌‌face, I raised the poison-coated dagger.
"So please, die now. Rebecca."
I squeezed my eyes shut and brought the dagger down.
In that instant, Rebecca's eyes snapped open. ‌‌‌
Rebecca blinked slowly, her gaze fixed upon me.
"Can you really ‌‌‌handle this?"
Startled, I trembled and dropped the dagger.
Rebecca swiftly caught the falling blade.
"My, you should be careful. This has a lethal poison on it, doesn't it?"
"H-how did you...?"
"That's obvious. But did ‌‌you really try to kill me? Alicia?" ‌‌
Rebecca carefully placed the dagger on the nightstand beside the bed. Then she looked directly at me.
Though her entire face was covered in blistering pustules, her eyes still sparkled with that ‌same brilliance as before—no, even more beautifully than ever.
I turned pale, wondering if the word "beautiful" could truly contain all of Rebecca.
"Alicia, why are you silent? Did you really try to kill me?"
Alicia chewed her lips for a moment before speaking.
"That's right. I tried ‌‌‌to kill you."
"Why? What could someone as fragile and pitiful as I have possibly done wrong?"
Rebecca covered her ‌‌mouth with her hand, her expression one of perfect innocence—as if she truly didn't understand.
Alicia realized she was being mocked, mimicked by the very woman she despised.
"Rebecca...."
Alicia's fists trembled as she clenched them.
Then she opened her mouth with venom.
"Yes! You've committed a ‌‌grave sin. The sin of possessing everything ‌I desire. I will ‌‌strip you of every last thing you ‌‌‌own. No matter what price I must pay, ‌‌‌‌I will not stop."
Alicia gazed at Rebecca with triumphant satisfaction.
Rebecca let out a soft laugh.
"So you've finally been honest."
"What?"
"I've been waiting. Waiting for you to bare those adorable little fangs."
Rebecca's fingers traced ‌‌‌the hilt of the dagger resting on the side table.
"Well then, let's see what poisonous words drove you to such a terrible decision."
"Aren't you angry with me... ? I betrayed you. I repaid your kindness with enmity!"
Rebecca's eyes turned to ice.
"I didn't know you understood ‌‌your own ‌‌transgression so clearly."
"Just slap me! Or better yet, kill me with that blade!"
Alicia lunged ‌‌‌toward the ‌‌dagger.
Rebecca seized the cane hanging at the head of the bed and struck the back of Alicia's hand.
"Don't."
"Ow! What are you doing!"
"I have no desire to see blood spilled. Besides, it would be inconvenient if you died so soon."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Exactly what I said."
Rebecca's gaze drifted briefly to Alicia's abdomen.
The child. The one that haunted her thoughts dozens of times each day—the child that didn't exist, that could never exist.
Feeling that gaze, Alicia wrapped both hands protectively around her belly.
"I don't need your shallow mercy, Rebecca."
"How amusing. ‌I had no ‌‌‌‌intention of showing mercy. Did I ‌‌appear so virtuous?"
Rebecca's expression froze like frost flowers blooming on winter glass, and she pressed Alicia further.
"So tell me—why did you try to kill me? What made ‌‌you so desperate?"
"I realized the Earl has no intention of making me his Countess."
"How so?"
"I ‌‌overheard him. He said ‌‌‌he would have an heir from you. That even if you fell ill, you could still bear a child. ‌‌‌Grace is already preparing for it. Are you satisfied now? Does it please you to death?"
"Ha!"
Rebecca laughed—a short, sharp sound. ‌‌‌‌
That brief laugh transformed into something longer, wilder. She threw her head back and laughed like a madwoman, her voice ringing through the room.
Alicia had recoiled in terror, her expression so grotesque that ‌she kept her distance. ‌‌
'Zeppelin, you've truly....'
The worst future I had ever imagined had become reality.
Not content with treating me as a doll, Zeppelin had apparently decided I was nothing more than a machine to bear his children.
The fact ‌‌‌that he had mustered such remarkable courage to lie with me, despite his delicate sensibilities, struck me as almost admirable.
Love? No, he has never loved me once.
A tear streamed down from Rebecca's left eye.
Rebecca stared at Alicia with eyes whose pupils had grown distant and hollow.
"Alicia. Do you want him? If this cesspool pleases you so much."
Alicia flinched for a moment, then pressed her lips together and spoke.
"You don't know what a cesspool is."
Alicia recalled the suffering she had endured since birth—something Rebecca could ‌‌never experience in her lifetime.
Her mother being forcibly dragged away by a nobleman notorious for his perversions because ‌‌‌‌of her beauty, a powerless ‌‌and impoverished father, and her mother returning at last as a cold corpse....
All those days when I swore I would never live as she did.
Yet the reality was that I had no choice but to live as she had.
Alicia wept. With each tear that fell from Rebecca's eyes, she cried all the louder.
Alicia grasped Rebecca's collar and shook her.
"How would you know what a cesspool is! Have you ever passed through the hands of men you didn't choose? How could you possibly understand the despair of never being able to dream of a happy family! Rebecca, how dare you speak of cesspools!"
Rebecca ‌‌‌‌wiped away her tears and gazed silently at Alicia, who clutched at her own collar and cried out.
The deep violet eyes I had once adored were now drowning in sorrow.
Rebecca rose from her seat, pressing down the overwhelming emotions that threatened to burst forth. ‌‌
"Even so, I wish ‌you hadn't done this to me."
"D-don't come any closer!"
Rebecca slowly approached Alicia and cradled her cheek in her palm.
Rebecca's hand, still radiating heat, was scorching. An acrid stench emanated from the burst blisters.
Now that Alicia finally met those vacant eyes, she could vaguely sense the weight of the reality Rebecca was bearing.
"I loved you, Alicia. That's why it hurt."
"...."
"It hurt. So very much. So I cannot forgive you. But...."
"Hic."
Alicia hiccupped. She could not bear Rebecca's searing presence.
Rebecca withdrew ‌‌‌her hand and opened the drawer. She retrieved a bottle containing tea leaves.
"I can walk the same path with you for a time."
And she pressed the bottle firmly into Alicia's hand.
Rebecca ‌‌‌offered the smile that Alicia had always yearned for.
"I'll give you what you want. Will you give me what I want?"
* * *
Returning to her room, Alicia threw herself onto the bed and buried her face in the ‌‌pillow, weeping for a long time.
"Wretched ‌‌‌woman.... Rebecca. You wretched woman...."
She was furious—furious that she had laid bare everything in her heart before that woman.
In the end, I couldn't kill her, and once again I ‌let her slip away.
'I loved you, Alicia.'
Rebecca finally uttered those words.
She had forcibly opened the door that Alicia had desperately sealed shut, the memories they shared locked away.
Alicia, who had been sobbing ‌‌‌moments before, soon stopped her tears.
Then she slowly examined everything I possessed that filled the room.
A plush bed large enough for three or four people to lie upon.
A canopy embroidered with pink roses that she adored.
An ornate wardrobe overflowing with elaborate dresses, paired with custom-made shoes and jewels to match each gown.
Luxuries she could enjoy as Zeppelin's wife.
Alicia stared blankly at the bottle of tea leaves that Rebecca had handed her.
Suddenly, her belly ‌fluttered. The child within was growing well despite the turbulent trials.
Alicia gently caressed ‌‌‌her belly and spoke. ‌‌‌‌‌
"My dear, there's no choice. Your ‌‌mother... will not give up." ‌‌
* * * ‌‌‌‌
The next day, the Devonshire Earldom was thrown into chaos.
"Infertility?!"
Grace cried out in shock at ‌‌‌‌the physician.
The physician wore a deeply troubled expression as he shook the tea leaves.
"This tea contains compounds that induce infertility. Even ten servings would show rapid effects, so potent is it. Yet you say Madam has consumed this for over a month. In that case, I'm afraid..."
"Ah..."
At the physician's words, Grace staggered and gripped the wall.
When Rebecca learned she was ill, ‌‌Grace had wished instead that Rebecca would become a saint.
Then she could become a devoted follower and seek her out.
So when Zeppelin asked Grace to help Rebecca conceive, she ‌‌was delighted.
As long as Rebecca ‌‌‌‌remained here, there would always be chances for her to recover.
She had tried in every ‌‌way to cure Rebecca.
Given time, was there any illness in the world that couldn't be healed? She couldn't let Rebecca go the way she had ‌‌‌let her own daughter Laila.
But now even that last hope had vanished.
Rebecca had abandoned her path to sainthood, and her body could no longer bear the child Zeppelin dreamed of.
The doll she had cherished so dearly was now destined to be discarded like trash.
While Grace sank into sorrow, Octavio stood with hands clasped behind his back, observing the situation with a most intriguing expression.
He had anticipated cries of anguish, but the fact that their cause was infertility rather than Rebecca's death had not been part of his calculations.
Octavio glanced at Alicia.
Sensing his gaze, Alicia let out a soft laugh and whispered to him.
"This is my way, Octavio."
The runaway countess has returned.
E-book publication.

January 12, 2022
Author.

Long night sky
Publisher.

Desert fox
Published by.

Woongjin ThinkBig Co., Ltd.
Submissions.

naver.me/54VzzLSn
Blog. ‌

blog.naver.com/wj_fennecfox
Twitter.

@wjt_fennecfox

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