Chapter 140
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140.
He recalled what had transpired at the Reception Hall not long ago.
He had boasted that he would save Rebecca, only to take a blow to the stomach from Zeppelin.
To be precise, Zeppelin had struck Leo, but the pain had been entirely his own.
'That I couldn't even endure....'
A self-loathing of a different texture than before tormented Julian.
Had Kanna not been there, he might not have been able to protect Rebecca.
As his thoughts reached that point, his stomach twisted with nausea.
And that day in the forest when Rebecca had rushed to him as his flesh burned.
He had heard that she had been searching for him with desperate urgency.
Rebecca had not told him the reason, but Julian could surmise the general circumstances.
He had heard that Rebecca had gone to Devon Mansion that day to assist with Alicia's unexpected childbirth.
She must have encountered Zeppelin there.
Imagining her wounded by him and then rushing to his side, his eyes stung with tears.
'That bastard.'
His resolve not to kill him with his own hands remained unchanged.
But he had become determined to sever his limbs and present them before Rebecca at the earliest opportunity.
Julian's eyes squinted against the sunlight settling in Rebecca's hair.
Of late, he had been immersed in the contentment of everyday happiness.
When he opened his eyes in the morning, the first thing he saw was Rebecca's face.
He would gaze over her features with his eyes before rising from bed.
He prepared breakfast for her and Lily with his own hands. He had not realized that cooking for someone could be such a joyful endeavor.
After that, whenever he had pressing matters, he would pause his work and share lunch or dinner with her.
On days when they could not dine together, he made certain they took at least one walk together.
Rebecca would smile, then suddenly wear a melancholy expression.
Julian disliked the loneliness that seized her like a fit.
He wished she would always smile.
So whenever he sensed even the slightest hint of her growing despondent, he would hurriedly lead her outside.
They would ride horses to survey his lands or stroll through the forest.
He would place kittens in her arms, and whenever something new and wondrous appeared, he sought her out first.
On days without pressing engagements, he trained with her at the Training Ground or played with her and Lily.
And falling asleep beside Rebecca in the same bed, beneath the same blanket, gazing at her face was a joy he would never tire of, even for a lifetime.
Though the days flowed similarly, every moment, every second was precious to Julian.
'Are you as happy as I am?'
He could not be certain.
This was a contractual marriage, and Rebecca might regard him not as a husband but as someone of utility.
Once everything was accomplished, she might vanish somewhere, just as he had always feared.
Perhaps she harbored secret disdain for this Duke's Castle.
But her thoughts mattered little.
What mattered was that she desired him—that alone was everything.
Julian could not fathom the true nature of his blind devotion to Rebecca.
A tempest unlike anything he had ever experienced was raging fiercely from the depths of his being.
And at its center, a fervent desire had taken root—to end this sordid revenge quickly and make Rebecca completely his family.
"Rebecca. Let me handle this."
Rebecca, who had been wiping her mouth with a napkin, widened her eyes and looked at Julian.
"I'll take care of all the dirty, sordid work. So please, don't even think of laying eyes on that man."
Julian seized Rebecca's shoulders desperately.
The sticky gaze that Zeppelin had cast upon her lingered like an afterimage before his eyes.
He could not bear the thought of Rebecca enduring such a thing again. She had suffered enough at Zeppelin's hands.
Rebecca glanced at Julian's trembling hands gripping her shoulders.
His pallid, exhausted complexion was unfamiliar to her.
Had anyone besides family ever shown her such concern?
Rebecca found herself growing increasingly frightened by his tenderness—afraid she might grow accustomed to it.
Afraid it would seep into her so deeply that she could never shake it free.
Rebecca placed her hand upon his head and slowly stroked his hair.
"I can't make you a promise, but this time I'll listen to you. I don't want to see Zeppelin's face either."
Color flooded back into Julian's face at once.
As if he had anticipated this outcome all along, he began reciting the plan he had already devised.
Rebecca opened her mouth and listened to his meticulous scheme.
"You were planning to go from the start. You were completely prepared."
"That's why I told you I would do it since the day before yesterday. Who was it that heard me with deaf ears? Anyway...."
Julian frowned as he looked at the tray resting on his lap.
Roasted asparagus sat forlornly on the plate.
"You left the vegetables again."
Rebecca deliberately avoided his gaze and mumbled an excuse.
"It doesn't taste good... But I ate all the cherry tomatoes."
Julian firmly speared the asparagus with his fork and held it out before Rebecca.
"No. Eat it."
"Can't I skip it just for today?"
"No. You can't."
Julian smiled good-naturedly as he brought the fork to Rebecca's lips.
Rebecca protested by furrowing her brow deeply, but it was a futile gesture.
In the end, Rebecca reluctantly put the asparagus in her mouth.
She swallowed what little was in her mouth and gulped down water eagerly.
Julian observed her wrists, which had become noticeably more robust since his arrival.
Eustaf was not entirely a charlatan—following his dietary prescriptions, Rebecca had grown remarkably stronger.
When Rebecca had first come to Duke's Castle, even a leisurely stroll had exhausted her.
Now she could run five laps around the Training Ground without difficulty.
Her limbs were still slender as if they might snap, but at this rate, muscle would develop soon enough.
Thinking that it might be time to teach her some basic self-defense, he brushed back the strands of Rebecca's hair that had slipped forward behind her ear.
"You eat well—it's pleasant to watch."
Rebecca's exposed, delicate earlobes were dangerously adorable.
A fierce urge surged through him—the desire to nibble at her pristine, sculptural ears.
If he were to bite and lick her ears until Rebecca gasped with ticklish laughter, then...
Julian's face flushed as the imagined scene unfolded in his mind.
Alarmed by the heat spreading through his entire body, he abruptly rose from his seat.
"Julian...?"
Rebecca looked up at him in confusion.
Before her gaze could drift downward, he hastily strode toward the door with heavy steps.
"Since you've finished eating, I'll take my leave to attend to my own matters."
He glanced back over his shoulder, his eyes still burning as he stole a glimpse of Rebecca.
Merely gazing at her innocent, blinking eyes made the heat he'd desperately suppressed surge anew.
Julian quickly opened the door and escaped the bedroom, saturated with her scent.
'Madman...'
Walking briskly down the corridor, Julian rubbed his head.
His carefully groomed hair was now disheveled, but he paid it no mind.
Lately, his desire for Rebecca—who kept unexpectedly appearing before him—was driving him to the brink of madness.
Ever since realizing he was capable of creating life, Julian had continuously suppressed his desires.
What occurred between men and women was a sin to him.
It was something forbidden, something he deemed shameful.
But from the moment he first kissed Rebecca, his beliefs—immovable as a mountain—began to waver.
What started as "a brief kiss should be fine, kissing should be acceptable" gradually expanded its boundaries.
Now, before he could even realize it, he found himself pulling Rebecca into his embrace or pressing his lips to her forehead.
He feared this transformation.
'It's all because of that damned book.'
The books Josephine had supposedly written with the disease's name were nothing but scandalous romance novels.
When he protested, Croa merely spouted cryptic nonsense about how reading patiently would reveal a cure for the incurable disease.
Since Julian didn't wish to die, he decided to read the novels, accepting the deception.
The books contained all manner of carnal knowledge he'd only understood theoretically.
With imagination added to the mix, Julian suffered all the more.
Moreover, every book he read reached the same conclusion.
'This...is love?'
He couldn't believe it.
The love he envisioned was pure and sublime—a powerful force that overcame any adversity.
An emotion he'd thought he could never possess.
Yet the love these books proclaimed was merely a relationship steeped in obsession and pleasure.
'Ridiculous.'
Julian shook his head. After all, they were merely low-quality novels circulating in society.
Such books couldn't possibly contain truth or profound meaning.
Therefore, the relationships depicted in these novels were not love at all.
It was nothing more than a bestial instinct driven solely by desire.
And the feelings I harbored for Rebecca were no different.
Like the men in those novels, I wanted to hold her in my arms, and I wanted to kill every man who dared approach her side.
Julian drove the nail home once more—this twisted emotion could never be love.
And simultaneously, he felt a gnawing guilt for even entertaining such thoughts about her.
In what way was he different from Zeppelin?
"My Lord! Everything is prepared. You need only change into your clothes."
Croa approached Julian at precisely the right moment, as he sat tangled in his own turbulent thoughts, unable to find clarity.
He needed something else to occupy his attention.
"Very well. I shall prepare myself at once."
Julian accepted the pair of stones Croa offered—one black, one white.
As he rolled the stones in his palm, his eyes shifted to a sharp golden hue.
Croa, witnessing the piercing intensity of his gaze, exhaled with a premonition that something troublesome was afoot.
* * *
"Hmm. I hardly recognize myself."
Before entering the Casino, Julian examined his reflection in the shop window one final time.
He wore an octagonal beret of the sort a newspaper boy might don, complete with a false mustache.
Dressed in a somewhat shabby, light brown jacket, he appeared unmistakably common.
Yet Croa regarded his back with skeptical eyes.
Though the clothes had been tailored to his measurements from a fortnight prior, the jacket strained visibly against his muscular frame.
The runaway countess has returned.
E-book publication.
January 12, 2022
The author.
Long night sky
Publisher.
Desert fox
Published by.
Woongjin ThinkBig Co., Ltd.
Submission received.
naver.me/54VzzLSn
Blog.
blog.naver.com/wj_fennecfox
Twitter.
@wjt_fennecfox
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Brought to you by Valir Scans! To support our team and enjoy the latest releases, please read directly on our official site: valirscans.org
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