Chapter 147
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148.
Julian approached Lily with a forced smile, then bent his knees to meet her at eye level.
"Lily. I brought you a gift and left it in your room. Why don't you go take a look? I need to talk with Rebecca for a moment, so I'll join you a little later."
"You're not trying to get rid of Becky, are you?"
Lily fixed Julian with a hostile glare while gripping Rebecca's left hand firmly, as if determined to protect her from him.
It was the posture of someone shielding a precious person from danger.
Lily's sharp gaze pricked at him like thorns, piercing through his entire being.
Intellectually, I understood her actions. But the sting was unavoidable.
Julian fought to keep his crumbling expression in check, his trembling lips pressing together.
"I could never do such a thing, even if it meant my death. In my world, you and Rebecca are the most precious beings to me."
Lily's eyes widened in surprise.
Rebecca blinked slowly.
Though she told herself it was merely words meant to reassure Lily, Rebecca felt her cheeks flush without her realizing it.
Despite uttering such profound words, Julian wore a serene smile as he gently stroked Lily's hair.
"So will you give me some time alone with Rebecca? Please, Lily."
Lily gazed into Julian's amber eyes.
His eyes sparkled with sincerity, just as they did when he sought her forgiveness.
Lily looked toward Rebecca.
"Fine. I think it's best to do as Julian says. I'll go read soon."
When Rebecca smiled warmly, Lily reluctantly nodded her assent.
"Shall I accompany you?"
Kanna extended her hand to Lily.
Lily took Kanna's hand, but her mind wasn't entirely at ease—she kept glancing back over her shoulder.
"Then we shall take our leave."
Belma tactfully ushered everyone else out of the room.
As the door closed, only Rebecca and Julian remained in the bedroom.
Uncertain how to voice the words churning within him, Julian simply gazed down at Rebecca in silence for a moment.
Unable to bear the silence, Rebecca spoke first.
"What is it... that you wanted to say?"
I could guess what he meant to discuss.
Ever since the incident with Demon's Claw had caused him pain, Julian had always been overly concerned about my health.
Rebecca recalled Julian collapsing before her in the Reed Field.
Knowing he worried, yet I had acted recklessly regardless.
So his anger was only natural.
I muttered like an old habit that it was my fault, that I had done something wrong.
Rebecca braced herself, expecting him to raise his voice at her, and squeezed her eyes shut.
"How is your body feeling?"
Contrary to her expectations, his gentle voice reached her, and Rebecca's eyes fluttered open.
He sat lightly on the edge of the bed, his hand resting against her forehead.
It was a cool touch, carrying the chill of the outside air.
He glanced at Rebecca's right arm and asked.
"No fever. You're sure your arm isn't broken?"
"No. I overexerted the muscles and caused a spasm. They just said not to move it for a while...."
"A blessing in disguise, then. But even minor injuries hurt."
Julian clenched his teeth with a low growl.
"So you destroyed Zeppelin's gift with your own hands?"
"Yes.... The moment I saw it, I couldn't resist destroying it."
"Then you didn't have to do it yourself."
....
"If destruction was the goal, you could have had someone else do it. You know full well how fragile your body is—why do you keep throwing yourself into reckless situations?"
His words struck true, and heat flooded through me.
But in that moment, rage had paralyzed my reason—there was no room for such considerations.
As Rebecca stubbornly fell silent, Julian's voice softened slightly.
"We made a promise...."
"A promise?"
"That you wouldn't throw your life away so carelessly anymore."
"That's different from this. That promise was about not sacrificing myself to Emperor Zahidra."
"No. To me, it sounded like you promised not to be reckless anymore."
"That's a ridiculous interpretation!"
"I'll bring Zeppelin here right now."
"What...?"
"I'll drag him by his hair and throw him at your feet. Then I'll cut his throat with this blade."
Julian drew the sword leaning against the bedroom wall.
He offered the hilt to Rebecca.
"Will you stop this madness then?"
Rebecca stared at the sharply honed blade for a moment, then lifted her gaze.
Beneath eyebrows curved like brushstrokes, his eyes gleamed with sorrow.
Rebecca gently pushed the sword away.
"Then you'd be hurt. Killing a nobleman is a grave crime. No matter how much you are the Duke of Johannes."
"What does that matter!"
"Julian."
At Rebecca's call, Julian flinched and looked down at her.
"I want to complete this revenge without letting anyone close to me get hurt. My own inadequacy dragged innocent people into this. So I have a duty to protect them. That includes you."
"This wasn't something you forced on them. They all came forward willingly because they wanted to help you."
"Did they? I wonder if it was truly voluntary."
Rebecca laughed bitterly. I had deceived everyone by possessing memories from my previous life.
I had approached them deliberately, exploited their weaknesses, and easily won their favor.
It was coercion in all but name. A despicable act.
That's why Rebecca had no intention of sacrificing anyone but herself.
She recalled the faces of those who had helped her after her regression, one by one.
After her revenge was complete, she hoped those grateful people would return to peaceful, ordinary lives.
If that could happen, she didn't mind dying alongside Zeppelin.
After all, this life was a bonus she never expected to have.
If she could achieve her revenge, she had no lingering attachments to this existence.
Julian, perceiving the meaning hidden in Rebecca's silence, spoke coldly.
"So you're determined to pursue your revenge even if it costs you your life?"
"It doesn't matter if you don't understand."
It wasn't that he didn't understand. Julian knew Rebecca's heart better than anyone.
He too was prepared to sacrifice himself to end the curse's grip.
He believed he was simply born from darkness and would return to darkness.
But Rebecca was different.
She was someone who had grown up in sunlit places, basking in the warmth of the sun.
It would be a waste for her to perish merely because shadows had temporarily obscured her light.
She was someone who deserved happiness, someone meant to live in brightness.
Yet Rebecca carried herself as though she could end her own life at any moment.
Once again, his mother's final gaze overlapped with Rebecca's eyes.
Fear seized him suddenly.
Rebecca must not disappear.
This world needed to be filled with people like Rebecca, not people like himself.
Julian cried out as though seized by a convulsion.
"What meaning does that have! If you die, what meaning does your revenge have!"
Rebecca let out a hollow laugh and spoke.
"Julian, do you think about meaning when you breathe? For me, revenge is like breathing. Revenge is my breath, and the only reason to live this borrowed life. So searching for meaning in my revenge would be foolish."
Julian stared blankly at Rebecca's composed face.
Over the past few months, seeing how much brighter she had become, he had harbored a sliver of hope.
He had dreamed of a hopeful future where she would gradually forget the past and abandon revenge, living on as the Duchess instead.
But it was merely an illusion.
The wounds Rebecca had suffered ran deeper than he had imagined, and they could never be forgotten.
'Zeppelin Devonshire....'
What on earth had he done to her.
Rebecca had never clearly told him the full extent of Zeppelin's misdeeds.
All he knew was that Zeppelin had confined her like a doll in the Count's Mansion and burdened House of Obelia with enormous debt.
It was horrifying. He understood why she dreamed of revenge.
That's why he had helped Rebecca escape the Count's Mansion.
He had also helped House of Obelia recover.
As a result, Rebecca had become the Duchess of Johannes, and her Salon business was flourishing.
Zeppelin's momentum had been broken, and he was suffering, wasn't he.
Julian believed this constituted a successful revenge.
But Rebecca seemed unsatisfied.
No, rather, she was saying this was only the beginning.
Julian still couldn't comprehend her burning thirst for vengeance, the deep-rooted hatred she harbored toward Zeppelin Devonshire.
To make revenge the reason for one's entire existence.
He wore an expression of utter incomprehension as he muttered weakly, his voice barely audible.
"In your life... couldn't I become another reason to go on? Couldn't Lily and Kanna, and your family, be reasons for you to live?"
Soon after, Julian cast his sword aside and collapsed to his knees.
"Why must you... why must you continue to suffer because of that damnable bastard? You're no longer the Countess of Devonshire, you owe nothing to Obelia. The people of Liberta are living happily and well. What more do you want? What in the world did he do to you that..."
Rebecca stared into Julian's pleading, tear-filled eyes.
Part of me wanted to lay bare everything from my past life.
How Zeppelin had caught me again just as I barely escaped hell itself, how he had taken my child and cast me into the flames.
How I couldn't bear that he remained alive and unscathed.
I wanted to cry out that I despised Zeppelin as much as I loved you.
But I couldn't speak.
If I did, I would have to reveal everything.
How I had overheard the curse from Croa by chance and used him for my purposes—all of it.
Setting aside whether he would believe that I had regressed, I was terrified that he would be disappointed once he learned the truth.
That he would grow angry with me and never look upon me with such kindness again.
'In my world, you and Rebecca are the most precious beings to me.'
I couldn't fathom why he cherished me so.
I had given him nothing. I had only received.
Even as I continued to push him away, Julian clung to me endlessly.
"Please stop... couldn't we just stop now? I don't have the courage to watch you suffer again."
The Countess who had fled had returned.
E-book publication.
January 12, 2022
Author.
Long night sky
Publisher.
Desert fox
Published by.
Woongjin ThinkBig Co., Ltd.
Submission received.
naver.me/54VzzLSn
Blog.
blog.naver.com/wj_fennecfox
Twitter.
@wjt_fennecfox
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Brought to you by Valir Scans! To support our team and enjoy the latest releases, please read directly on our official site: valirscans.org
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