Chapter 97
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98.
"Pardon?"
I tilted my head, wondering if I'd misheard, and scratched at my ear. Even after rubbing my eyes vigorously, Julian's smile never faded from his lips. After swinging the wooden sword a few times, Julian suddenly stood motionless in place. Then I pressed a hand to my chest, which showed no signs of calming. She kissed me. And it was Rebecca who initiated it. 'I said those words, but I'll never surrender my life to Zahidra. I promise you that.' After the kiss ended, Rebecca spoke to me, her face flushed and breathing heavily. I sensed truth in her words and felt reassured. Yet despite my relief, my heart had been pounding fiercely from that moment until now, as if it might burst from my chest. Rebecca kept flickering through my mind. I recalled her breath against my ear and the soft warmth of her skin pressing against my lips. And when I thought of those eyes still glistening with moisture, my heart clenched as if it might shatter.
"Ugh..."
As I sat quietly thinking of Rebecca, I suddenly clutched my chest and staggered.
"Your Grace! What's wrong?"
Croa quickly pushed the chair I'd been sitting in toward me. I sank into the chair and wiped my face. Croa watched me with deep concern etched across his features.
"Could it be... chest pain?"
Croa's fear spiked suddenly. The Dukes of Johannes had a history of complaining of heart pain like this before suddenly dying in agony. I lifted my eyes, dark and quiet, and looked at Croa. Watching him shift anxiously, clenching and unclenching his fists, I opened my mouth.
"Lately... my heart has been aching."
Thud— At my words, Croa felt as though a massive boulder had crashed down upon his shoulders. It had finally come. Since there was no heir yet, I couldn't die. But if I left my ailing body untreated, I might have to endure a horrific existence as a vegetable until an heir was born. With trembling hands, Croa withdrew a small notebook he always carried with him. It was a confidential record containing countermeasures for the heart disease of the Duke of Johannes, passed down through generations of the Chenister Family. He took a deep breath and asked solemnly.
"What are your symptoms?"
I studied Croa's increasingly grim expression for a long moment before speaking. Hiding it would only worsen the condition anyway. It would be better to reveal the symptoms quickly—that might lead to a solution. Perhaps this capable butler would know a treatment.
"Sometimes my heart races, and sometimes it aches."
"These are typical prodromal symptoms of heart failure. When do they usually manifest? After strenuous exercise? Or do they strike without warning...?"
"Every time I think of someone or see them."
"Ah, yes. Someone.... Wait? Who do you think of?"
"Rebecca."
Julian spoke while touching his flushed neck.
"Every time I see Rebecca, my heart aches. It feels like it's being squeezed tight. Sometimes the pain is so severe that tears prick my eyes. Is heart failure usually accompanied by such symptoms?"
Croa stared blankly at Julian, notebook still in hand. As his silence stretched on, Julian grew anxious and asked Croa with a rather serious expression.
"Is it serious?"
Croa looked at Julian's deeply furrowed brow. I had always believed myself to be an above-average butler, even if not perfect. Watching Julian grow by leaps and bounds each day, I had even felt pride in my accomplishments. But now I realized I had raised an absolute fool. 'This is hopeless. A hopeless butler. Croa Chenister.' Before her death, Evelina, the Previous Duchess, had left Croa a letter. The letter contained brief words of gratitude toward Croa along with instructions regarding Julian's education. Evelina had carefully considered the essential education Julian should receive by age and even specified the names of his tutors. She wanted Julian to grow into a strong person who would not compromise with injustice and would never kneel before anyone. And she wanted her son to become a cold-blooded person incapable of love. 【This cursed family must not produce another victim. Better to end it with this generation. Do not bring him a bride, and do not let Julian fall in love and draw others into this tragedy. This is my earnest plea.】 Croa had followed most of Evelina's final wishes faithfully. Thanks to this, Julian had grown into a sharp and strong man. Without Croa even having to say much, Julian naturally avoided courtship with girls his age. When he was young, merely hearing the word 'love' would cause hives to break out across his skin. Julian had desperately honored Evelina's last wishes, and I pitied him for it. But I knew this was for the best. That is why I remained chaste as well, to support him. If I were to fall in love, it would become difficult to advise Julian never to love. Then Rebecca appeared. From the moment I saw her, I had a bad premonition. I strongly sensed that Julian would fall for her. But she claimed to know how to break the curse, whether truth or lie, and Julian had taken her hand. Since matters had already begun, I decided to think optimistically. After all, this was a contract marriage that would eventually end. Fortunately, Rebecca seemed to have no desires whatsoever beyond revenge. I harbored a vague hope that even if Julian fell for her, Rebecca would reject him of her own accord. I believed Evelina in the afterlife would forgive this much.
"Croa. Why are you thinking so hard? Is it serious or not?"
Julian asked impatiently. I recalled Julian's recent behavior. His face, which had always been shadowed, brightened the moment he met Rebecca. Croa could no longer deny it. Julian in love was happy. She should have stopped him. She should have, but whenever Croa recalled Julian's smile as he gazed at Rebecca, she found herself utterly unable to do so. 'Forgive me, Evelina.' Watching the brightened Julian brought back memories of that boy weeping bitterly on the day of his governess's funeral. The vow she had made then—to make this unfortunate boy happy no matter what—came flooding back. Though it pained her to sacrifice Rebecca, Croa wished above all else that Julian would smile. She wanted Julian to be loved. Having settled her thoughts, Croa snapped her notebook shut with a decisive sound.
"This is serious. An incurable disease."
"What? Really?"
"Yes. A most severe affliction indeed. Why don't you ask your governess to lend you a few novels? You'll understand what sort of illness it is soon enough."
No matter how many times I tell him this is love, Julian will surely shake his head. It would only have meaning if he came to understand it himself. Confused by Croa's words, Julian touched his chin thoughtfully.
"An illness from novels? A legendary incurable disease? Is my condition truly that dire?"
"That's not it... Ah, never mind. Figure out the rest yourself. It's late, and this negligent servant must retire now."
"Wait, Croa..."
Though he had countless questions, Croa had already vanished from his sight with hurried steps. Left alone in the hollow Training Ground, Julian turned over Croa's words in his mind.
"An incurable disease, she said..."
Julian gently pressed a hand to his chest. At the very least, he had to live long enough to grant Rebecca's wish before he died.
"She said the answer would be in my governess's books, didn't she?"
He lifted his gaze toward the East Annex. Though the hour grew late, warm light still spilled from the windows of the Separate Quarters. To borrow books from the governess, I would have to venture toward the Separate Quarters—and there was always the possibility of encountering Lily. At the thought of Lily, Julian's expression darkened with melancholy. Liliana Vanini. The seed of misfortune my father left behind in his final act. The one mercy was that she had inherited none of the House of Johannes's distinctive features. Lily was born with her mother's rosy pink hair and crimson eyes. When she ventured into the world one day, no one would ever suspect her to be of House of Johannes. The memory of first meeting Lily remained vivid even now. Upon seeing Julian, Lily burst into laughter. The child's tiny fingers wriggled as she reached toward him. At Croa's insistence, Julian reluctantly offered her a single finger. Lily, who had only recently begun to grasp things, seized his finger with all the strength her small body could muster. The delicate scent of infancy pricked my nostrils. As her soft, tender grip tightened around my finger, I froze, uncertain how to respond. The slightest movement on my part seemed capable of shattering this fragile, precious life. In that moment, gazing upon Lily's radiant face, a single thought crystallized in my mind. 'I must protect this child.' I would raise her as someone untainted by the sordid House of Johannes. As a girl, she could never be designated as an heir. If Lily bore no sons, I alone could bear all the curses of the Duke of Johannes and endure. There was a certain peace in allowing the line to end with me. And if fortune smiled upon us, perhaps I could even break the curse. I watched from afar as Lily grew with each passing day. Though she wept throughout the day, the moment she saw me, her tears would cease and she would reach out her small hands. It was unbearably endearing.
Before long, Lily had grown into a bright, cheerful child—a stark contrast to the gloomy Duke of Johannes Castle. Whenever her laughter echoed from the Garden, everyone within the castle walls found themselves smiling. Julian was no exception. Lily had become the most precious treasure of House of Johannes. I could not bring myself to let such a cherished child go so easily. 'What if she met a tragic end outside? What if someone abducted her? I cannot afford to be careless.' At first, I had resolved to feign her death around the time she took her first steps and send her away. But that timeline gradually extended, until I finally decided to keep her protected within the castle until she reached adulthood. She was precious. Lily was so beloved that I could scarcely believe she was a remnant left behind by the father I despised so bitterly. I wanted to keep her safe. I lavishly decorated the Separate Quarters, which I rarely used, and arranged a Room for Lily within. And so I deliberately kept my distance, never even exchanging words with her, lest she long for me in the future. I created no memories with her. There was no emotion more terrible than longing. I could not allow Lily to experience such suffering. Thus, I confined House of Johannes's most precious treasure within the Separate Quarters. The light seeping from the Separate Quarters had gone dark. Lily had fallen asleep. As I pictured the face of the child sleeping like an angel, my eyes grew heavy with sorrow. The Runaway Countess Returns E-book Publication
January 12, 2022 Author
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