Chapter 113
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Chapter 113
Lost in thought, I suddenly shook my head.
I didn't want to think about this any further.
Whatever reaction they showed, it would never sit well with me.
Just as they had done to me, I couldn't bear to witness that cold rejection again.
Just as they hadn't done for me, I couldn't bear to see them offer comfort and acceptance to another.
Staring at them for a moment longer, I turned my gaze away.
'This isn't the time for this. Let me find the trinket and be done with it.'
Reminding myself of my purpose for coming here, I flew toward Riri's chamber.
Thanks to the Nine-Tailed Fox Clan's disguise orb, no one recognized me.
I descended safely onto the open windowsill of Riri's chamber.
The birds chirping in the trees tilted their heads curiously at the sight of me.
"Shh."
I whispered softly to the birds.
"My visit here is a secret. If anyone finds out, it'll be trouble."
At that, the birds flew up onto the windowsill where I perched.
"Hmm? You'll stand guard for me?"
Chirp, chirp—
Tweet, tweet—
The birds nodded with bright, cheerful calls.
"Thank you. I'll be quick then."
I gave them a spirited greeting and slipped into Riri's chamber.
I'd worried the maidservants might be inside, but they'd all left with Riri—the room was empty.
Landing on the floor with a soft bounce, I looked around.
Long ago, I'd heard Riri's voice outside this very room, begging to be rid of me, and Jeok Hwayou's voice answering her plea.
'I thought all of that was resolved by now.'
A dull ache bloomed in my chest.
'But it still hurts.'
Glancing at the door, I scurried toward the ornate vanity decorated on one side of the chamber.
Though my time as Riri's maidservant had been brief, I'd learned where she kept her precious things.
The drawer beneath the vanity.
Riri stored her valuables there and forbade the other maidservants from ever touching them.
I grasped the drawer handle with my small beak and pulled with all my might.
Creak—
As the drawer slid open, the recoil sent me tumbling backward onto my rear.
"Oof."
Fluffing my tail feathers, I hopped back up onto the drawer.
Inside lay a glittering collection of luxurious jewels and ornaments.
I paused involuntarily.
Given the Jujak Family's wealth and influence, acquiring such things would be simple enough, but...
It was quite at odds with the Joojak Residence's family tradition of valuing simplicity and unpretentiousness.
As Jeok Soya rummaged through the drawer with her small beak, plucking out ornaments, she discovered a single feather in the deepest corner.
'What...?'
It was a stiff gray feather she had never seen before.
'What kind of feather is this?'
Jeok Soya tilted her head in confusion, but soon dismissed the thought and found her mother's keepsakes.
Fortunately, they were here just as she had expected.
She had heard that the ornamental pendant embedded with red jade had been passed down from her mother's mother, and from her mother's mother's mother before that.
Jeok Soya picked up the pendant in her beak, descended to the floor, and unwrapped the bundle that Yeon Jeong had prepared, placing it inside.
Then she pushed the drawer shut with her head and climbed back out through the window.
The birds keeping watch for Jeok Soya on the windowsill fluttered their wings in greeting.
Chirp chirp—
Trill trill—
"Thank you, little ones. Thanks to you, I got out safely without being discovered."
Just as Jeok Soya was about to leave after bidding the birds farewell, she suddenly spread her wings, then paused.
'If not today, I may never return to this place again.'
Jeok Soya, who had been preparing to return to the Western Lands, changed direction with newfound resolve.
Her destination was none other than the Peacock Family Graveyard.
Before the tomb where the late Lady of Suzaku House was buried long ago, Jeok Soya released her transformation magic.
Poof!
Her body shifted into that of a twelve-year-old girl.
Having come without a plan, she had not prepared a single flower to offer at her mother's grave.
Jeok Soya opened her palm and drew forth the power of the Blue Dragon.
Transparent seeds of life materialized in the air, popping into existence one after another.
The seeds drifted gently down to the ground, and soon burst into a riot of colorful blooms.
In an instant, beautiful flowers of every hue blossomed before the tomb.
"Thank you, Dragon God."
Jeok Soya offered her gratitude to Cheong Hae Yong Sin, who had lent her the power of life, then gazed upon the graveyard once more.
"Hello, Mother. It's me, Jeok Soya."
I wasn't sure if this was the right way to speak.
"Well... I've grown so much, haven't I? I've already undergone my first growth phase and I'm already twelve years old."
Yet the memory of how everyone spoke to the tomb's occupant when they came here flickered in her mind, so she followed along in an awkward voice.
"I always wondered about Mother when I was little. But then the Phoenix showed me who you were."
A mother she had to part with far too soon, leaving no memories in her heart.
Yet Jeok Soya remembered her—the mother from the past that the Phoenix had shown her, and the phantom she had witnessed in the Marsh of the Dead.
A mother who worried about me until the very moment she closed her eyes.
Though it was merely a phantom, it felt so warm, as if tears would surely fall.
"Mother worried about me until the very end, and I'm sorry I couldn't live happily. But now I have a truly wonderful real family. So please don't be too sorrowful, Mother."
At first it felt strange to speak, but once I opened my heart, all the words I had wanted to say came pouring out.
"And... I'm sorry that I couldn't get along well with those people who would have been a good husband and a good son to you."
I recalled them for a moment—those whose connection had long since been severed.
"But I suspect I'll never return to them in my lifetime. No, I won't return to them."
Then, with deliberate stubbornness, I continued speaking.
"There's nothing Mother can say to change this. I'm truly sorry."
After speaking that far, I fell silent for a moment and gazed intently at Mother's grave.
Shortly after, my small lips slowly opened once more.
"...The truth is, Mother. When I was young, I foolishly resented you. Everyone told me so. That I was a child who should never have been born."
My voice was tinged with melancholy, as though confessing past wrongs.
Until Riri appeared with the crimson feather, I was living proof of the late Lady of the House's infidelity.
The head of the household, Jeok Ahyun, could neither accept nor reject the fact that his wife had borne another man's child and died—and it drove him to madness.
The people of the Jujak Family whispered when they saw me.
That I was a child who should never have been born.
Had I not been born, the Lady would not have passed away, and the head of the household would not have suffered so.
All the tragedy of the Jujak Family stemmed from my birth.
"Why did Mother give birth to me? I harbored such wicked thoughts and resented her."
I shouldn't have done that. I should never have entertained such cruel ideas.
"Mother worried about me until the very end, yet I carried such a wicked heart. I'm so sorry."
But now I understand. That those thoughts were wrong. And...
"And thank you for giving birth to me."
When I spoke these words, my throat grew warm.
"Because Mother gave birth to me, sacrificing her own life, I've come to know so many beautiful things in this world."
Now I knew how refreshing the air felt when it brushed against my cheeks as I climbed mountains, cutting through the wind.
I also knew how comforting the crisp crunching sound was when my footprints sank into the first snow of deep winter.
I knew how beautiful the vast world below appeared when I spread my short two wings and soared into the sky.
"Had Mother not given birth to me, I would never have known in my entire life how beautiful the world I inhabit truly is."
This beautiful world was something I came to know only by exchanging it for Mother's life.
"So I will live on without tears, with courage and strength."
I spoke as though to reassure Mother, my eyes gently closing into a smile.
"I may never return to this place again... but I will always think of you."
After finishing my farewell, my throat tightened, and I stood motionless for a long while, unable to leave.
Knowing I would never return here again, it was difficult to take even a single step away.
After lingering there much longer, I slowly turned my body.
My eyes met those of the birds from the Southern Lands, who had been peeking at me through the branches.
"Oh? You've been watching this whole time while I was talking? How embarrassing."
My face flushed slightly.
The birds then flew toward me and chirped softly in comfort.
"Thank you, little ones."
I answered with a soft chuckle, but then I was startled by the birds' subsequent chirping and asked in surprise.
"What? You want to follow me?"
Chirp!
Chirp!
Tweet!
Cheep cheep!
Squawk!
Birds with feathers of every hue and calls of every pitch answered in chaotic chorus.
So many birds willing to follow me. I felt a twinge of concern, but....
'Well. It doesn't matter. Baek Ho Palace is vast enough. And Horim Mountain is expansive too.'
Having reached this conclusion, I smiled and spoke.
"Do as you wish. But know that Baek Ho Palace is very far from here. So you must follow carefully."
The birds chirped and nodded their heads in response.
Poof!
Transformed back into Jjak Jjak, I soared high into the sky.
Behind me, the fluttering of countless wings followed in my wake, their beating filling the crystalline heavens with sound.
* * *
At that same moment, Jeok Ahyun was making his way toward his wife's grave.
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Brought to you by Valir Scans! To support our team and enjoy the latest releases, please read directly on our official site: valirscans.org
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