Chapter 56
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Chapter 56
"Yes. I'm recuperating with medicinal herbs that Sara sends, but that alone cannot completely heal that child's spiritual core."
"But if you give that to the young lady... are you truly at ease, my lord?"
"At ease? What's there not to be at ease about? It's only natural for a father to give his daughter the finest thing he can offer. If anything, it brings me joy."
Sayeon spoke with casual indifference.
Yet Jeok Young's voice in response was laden with concern.
"But wasn't that Yongheol Grass the only hope for treating your spiritual core, my lord? Even now, on moonlit nights, you exhaust yourself in the Study Room..."
'...!'
Thump!
In that instant, my heart plummeted.
"It's fine. I'm an adult, after all. Strong. I can endure. But the little one is still young."
"Still..."
Sayeon and Jeok Young continued their conversation, but the words no longer reached my ears.
'That medicine I consumed... was it truly the only way to treat Sayeon's spiritual core?'
My pupils trembled uncontrollably as I replayed what I had heard.
I didn't fully understand, but it seemed Sayeon's spiritual core was gravely afflicted.
And that decoction I had drunk today was apparently the only method to treat it—which meant Sayeon had now lost his sole path to healing his wounded spiritual core.
'I... didn't even know...'
I had gulped it down so eagerly, oblivious to the truth.
I had drunk it with such delight, believing it was a gift from Sayeon.
'How foolish...'
A surge of emotion welled up inside me.
I had wanted to be helpful to Sayeon and to the family. I had wanted to repay their kindness swiftly.
Instead, I had only made things harder for him.
'What do I do? What can I possibly do? Because of me...'
Why did I always burden Sayeon with my failures?
I had wanted to be a good, dependable child.
I had wanted to be truly helpful.
As I stood there, my feet shuffling with distress, a thought suddenly crossed my mind, and I looked down at my palm.
[Try not to use this flame if you can help it. Save it for when it's truly necessary.]
Tae Irim had told me to conserve this flame. But...
'A truly necessary moment. This is it.'
With that resolve, I left my hiding place.
To avoid drawing attention, I waited in my chamber until the night grew very deep.
After pretending to sleep beneath the blankets and Yeon Jeong extinguished the lamp and left, I rose from my bed at once.
I quietly retrieved Baekho and crept back out into the corridor.
Passing Baek Gayul's chamber, then Baek Gahyun's chamber, I arrived at Sayeon's darkened bedchamber.
I opened the door with utmost care and stepped inside.
Drawing Baekho, I stared at my palm and swallowed hard.
'It will hurt terribly.'
Despite my resolve, I couldn't help but feel afraid when the moment actually arrived.
After all, I was a coward who whimpered at even the smallest wound.
'How did Tae Irim manage to do it....'
The fortunate part was that it didn't seem to require much blood.
'Last time when I got hurt, I barely grazed myself and it was enough to purify Seol Yo.'
Jeok Soya squeezed her eyes shut and pricked the tip of her index finger with the sword's edge.
"Ow."
The moment a droplet of blood beaded at her fingertip, Jeok Soya dropped Baekho.
At the metallic clang, Sayeon's eyes snapped open.
"Cotton ball...?"
"Oh, Sayeon. I...."
Jeok Soya was hastily trying to make an excuse.
Whoosh—!
A small flame blossomed in the palm of Jeok Soya's hand.
Her face brightened instantly.
"Fire...?"
Jeok Soya wielded the purifying flame toward the bewildered Sayeon.
The flame that rose into the air seeped into Sayeon's chest.
"What in the world is this...."
"It's my ability, and actually it's not purification but borrowing a different power. They called it 'the flame that purifies all things'!"
To the confused Sayeon, Jeok Soya explained everything while conveniently omitting the part about using blood as a medium.
"It's a power that heals all pain!"
But something was strange.
Sayeon's expression, which would normally praise me as a capable cotton ball, grew increasingly grave.
Suddenly—!
He seized my wrist.
In doing so, my hand was exposed, revealing the wound on my fingertip and the bright red droplet of blood pooling there.
Jeok Soya, startled, tried to quickly hide her hand but failed.
"Cotton ball, you."
Though the wound was small, it was unmistakably made by a sword.
Seeing Jeok Soya's wound and the Baekho lying on the floor, Sayeon grasped the situation and asked in a terrifying voice.
"What is this wound? Don't tell me you did this yourself?"
"Well, that is...."
Jeok Soya hesitated, gauging Sayeon's expression before confessing.
"Actually, my ability isn't perfect yet, so I need to use blood as a medium...."
"Why would you do that."
Sayeon cut off my words, his expression hardening into stone.
My heart sank.
This was the first time Sayeon had spoken to me with such a frightening face and stern voice.
Until now, he had always praised me for everything I did, so hearing him speak this way made my heart ache a little.
"Why, why are you speaking with such a frightening expression?"
I did it all for Sayeon.
So I wouldn't become a burden to him.
And to protect him.
That's why I wanted to repay his kindness.
I did it for that reason.
"Sayeon gave up the Yongheol Grass for me, after all. I wanted to be helpful to him, to repay his kindness, so I did what I did."
Before I could stop myself, resentment crept into my voice.
"Repay my kindness?"
As if he'd heard something he shouldn't have, Sayeon's face contorted sharply.
Sayeon was naturally cold and aloof by temperament.
When he dropped the gentle smile he always wore before Soya and twisted his expression, he looked terribly menacing.
In that instant, Soya unconsciously stumbled backward.
"No one has ever asked you to repay any kindness."
Sayeon spoke as if grinding his words through anger.
"You're a child. You're still a child. You should be loved simply for existing, without having to do anything at all. That's what you are."
Under normal circumstances, Soya would have hung her head at those words.
But she didn't. Or rather, she chose not to.
Because I'm a child, I should be loved without doing anything?
But that's never been the case until now.
Everyone has only hated me, even when I did nothing.
Of course, it wasn't Sayeon's fault. It wasn't my fault either.
The fault lay entirely with the people of the Joojak Residence—my 'true family' had told me as much.
Yet despite knowing better, I felt the injustice rise in my chest, and my voice grew louder.
"Why shouldn't a child have to do anything?"
No, I shouldn't be doing this.
"Just as Sayeon protected me, a child can protect an adult too!"
I shouldn't be raising my voice to Sayeon like this.
"I can protect Sayeon too!"
Sayeon has done nothing wrong. I shouldn't be angry with him like this.
"Why do you say I don't have to do anything for Sayeon!"
It had been so long since I'd raised my voice like this. My breathing came in ragged gasps.
A brief silence fell.
As my ragged breathing gradually calmed, reason suddenly returned, and I froze in place.
What did I just do?
I shouted at Sayeon.
Even though Sayeon did nothing wrong, I knew that, and I still shouted.
Fear bloomed suddenly across the child's face.
Instead of repaying kindness, I only ever caused trouble, and now I'd even raised my voice.
What do I do? What do I do?
I, I need to apologize right away. If I don't, he'll, he'll... Sayeon will come to hate me too.
I can't have that.
I don't want that.
I don't want Sayeon to hate me.
Jeok Soya, plunged into panic in an instant, stammered out excuses with trembling breath.
"S, Sayeon. What I just did wasn't because I was trying to scream...."
It was then.
"Soya."
Sayeon knelt before Soya to meet her eyes, then gently wiped away the tears from her face with his fingertips.
"Don't cry."
"...?"
At those words, Soya lifted her hand and touched her own face.
It was wet.
"Hic...!"
Only then did Soya realize she had been crying, and she sharply inhaled her sobs.
"You asked why you don't have to do anything for me."
Sayeon spoke in a pained voice to Soya's reddened eyes.
"Because I'm your father."
"...!"
Soya's throat trembled strongly at those words as she fought to suppress her tears.
"No father wants his daughter's sacrifice. Not just me—every father in this world is the same."
"...."
"No father wants his daughter to suffer, and no father wants his daughter to hurt herself. Gratitude? Real parents love unconditionally without such things, even if their child does nothing at all."
"But, sob, that person...."
At Soya's trembling voice, one of Sayeon's eyebrows rose sharply.
"That's why that person is a fake."
Sayeon spoke firmly and added,
"I'm the real one."
"Hic, sniff, you're right. Everything you say is right."
Soya nodded, biting her lower lip hard to keep from crying.
But the sobs that kept leaking through her teeth were beyond her control.
"So Soya. Never use that power again. If it's a power that can only be used by hurting yourself, it's better not to have it at all."
"Then, sniff, what can I do for you?"
At Soya's whimpering question, Sayeon answered with a broad smile.
"Call me Father. It would be even better if you called me Dad."
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