Story Idea W/ Arelyne: Episode 1
Note: this is shorter because it’s more like a prologue, its just a draft i did in my spare time, not reviewed. Just the concept. Dialogue is (obviously) in need of refinement, I just want everyone’s thoughts. Also this way its easier for Ary to see it so… yeah. If you want context check out this thread.
https://valirscans.org/community/t/i-kinda-need-your-help
Ps: Arelyne, what do you think the ml and fl should look like, and I want you to come up with the names, the names used are just placeholders.
anyways, here it is.
Draft i did in my spare time, not reviewed. Just concept. Dialogue is (obviously) in need of refinement, I just need everyone’s thoughts.
Ps: Arelyne, what do you think the ml and fl should look like, and I want you to come up with the names, the names used are just placeholders.
FL: We’ll refer to her as Melina Lastname for now :3
ML: We’ll refer to him as Harlow Lastnameno2: I got these names from a random name generator
Disclaimer: Most of these names are just there as placeholders lmao, and all graphic scenes are not drawn realistically, they are obscured or not graphic (eg, dead bodies are seen face down, without the blood, or it’s just a silhouette)
Opening Scene:
Narrator: The Kingdom of kingdomland, an empire whose existence spans over 500 years; a land of magic, nobles, and glory. The technology of kingdomland is the best on the entire continent, and the royal family is beloved and prosperous. It’s a perfect place to live.
(Picture is of a pretty castle, shows streets, and happy people)
But this land isn't what it may always seem. Because beneath the glamorous surface of high society and magic, lies something else.
(Picture of nobles laughing and living lavishly shown)
Narrator: If you are born noble, the kingdom seems like a paradise, no one can touch them, their problems are limited to drama and petty fights. Those who live on the streets though others…
(Flashes to a woman running, then, a scream that is cut off halfway through. Then the outline of a body lying on the ground, a silhouette of someone with a knife is seen. The silhouette walks away, leaving the body in the alleyway flashes A picture of a crime scene, police officers looking over the scene)
Narrator, continuing: ….aren’t as lucky
(cuts to fl’s office in the police station)
FL(Melina): (groans) FINALLLLYYY!! DONNNNEEE!!!!! (is lying next to a pile of paperwork)
Melina: bangs head on table WHY IS THIS SO MUCH WORRKKK!!
Melina: (stacks and shuffles the papers, sighing) Whatever, it’s better then getting married off to some count twice my age.
Melina: stands up and stretches Ehh whatever, I’m still a rookie, so who can blame them
Melina: does that thing where her fists are pumped and she has the sparkles in her eye in anticipation I just need to prove myself!!! (imagines saving a old lady from a house or arresting a thief)
Melina: daydreaming interrupted cause she remembers why she’s here Oh right!! The papers!!
Melina; grabs the stack of papers together super fast, until it’s so high she can’t even see anything in front of her, grabs entire stack. Whatever, this will work out- (Opens the door and sees the busy hallway)
Melina: ….BRO
Melina: (gets a look of determination and starts mission impossibling her way through the hallway, dodging people)
Melina: (Finally outside the office) Hahaha!! Take that hallway-
(The door slams open and a dude walks out and bumps into Melina, she falls over)
Melina; Ah shi-
(Falls face first, papers scatter everywhere)
Melina: rubs her head Ugh what idiot-
sees the dude who knocked her over is still walking even after knocking her over but he’s also super hot
???: (stops walking and Stares at her)
Melina: stares at him
???: stares at her
Melina: stares at him
(romantic background starts showing, buildup for epic love at first sight until-)
Melina: HEY A$$HOLE, WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING NEXT TIME!! I DROPPED ALL MY PAPERWORK!!
???: looks really annoyed And why should I care?
Melina: really pissed off, biting her tongue, gathering all the scattered papers at mock speed Whatever, just get out of my way. mutters curse words under her breath, walks through the door
???: glares at her slightly before leaving
(scene flashes to ???’s badge says Harlow LastnameNo2)
Harlow, annoyed: What a prat.
cuts into the office
Melina: looks very proud
Police Dude: looking at paperwork
Police Dude: Hmm, very good, good work Deputy Lastname.
Melina: Thank you sir-
Police Dude: (Pulls out massive stack of file from drawer and slams it on table) Here are some of the low priority police reports recently filed, you can organize these now.
Melina: deflated, fake smiling Ohh.. thank you sir.
Melina: grabs paperwork and trudges away Well, thats another 10 hours of work for me… yay.
(Zooms in on one of the files, it says “Homicide Report for (victim name)” it’s stamped with the term “low priority)
cuts to Harlow
Police Dude No 2: (looking at a group of rookie officers including harlow) There’s been an incident downtown on Hanbury Street, none of you separate, you know how that part of town is. Try to get it done as quickly as possible, there’s no need to get held up.
(Rookie officers nod and get moving, Harlow’s brow furrows)
Harlow, thinking: That part of town is very violent, why are they sending rookie officers there…
Harlow, thinking: (shakes his head) No, they’d send higher ranking officers if it was anything important, I’m sure it’s nothing.
(Harlow walks out the door of the police station)
(Shows street, it looks desecrate and sketchy, but still, busy, people are walking and going about their day. Then the scene zooms in on a alleyway in between some buildings that were in the background of the street scene. In that alleyway is the silhouette of a body, and the blood in the alleyway, and yet everyone is walking past like it means nothing.)
End of chapter one
