Chapter 124
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124.
Such turbulent emotions could only settle—just barely, like a feather's weight—upon hearing Parker's words that followed.
"You speak of revenge, then? Proving one's innocence?"
"Yes, that's right."
Upon hearing my response, Parker shook his head with a composed expression.
"That was not what the Late Duke of Liardan left behind."
"Then what was it?"
"He said that even without this, you could find happiness, young master—but that you might need it nonetheless."
I found myself thinking how remarkably mature those words were.
"I believe you both understand far better than I could explain what transpired here before the house fell to ruin. You likely know the finer details as well."
Neither of us affirmed nor denied it.
It seemed the right thing to do.
Even if, before traveling through Liardan Duchy, I had perhaps meticulously searched through the documents from that time, just to be certain.
"When we learned that the Late Duke of Liardan had passed away and that we must never speak carelessly of this place as Liardan Duchy, we too felt rage."
The Manager drew a deep breath.
His body visibly trembled with the weight of it.
"Yet until his final moments, the Late Duke spoke of it again and again—that emotions like anger and vengeance would only consume us from within, and he did not wish to burden us, nor you, young master, with such things."
"How could he..."
At Cassian's murmured words, Parker nodded in agreement.
"We too found it difficult to accept at first. But it seemed the Late Duke feared far more that the Territory's people—and you, young master—might be harmed by such feelings."
His face had finally grown serene.
One could feel, with poignant clarity, how long he had waited for this moment.
"There is one thing, however."
"What is it?"
"He said it was a pity that what the Late Duchess of Liardan endeavored to accomplish was never completed."
"What did Mother work toward?"
"Unfortunately, as a mere servant, I do not know what the Late Duchess accomplished, as it was a matter of great importance to the house."
Cassian's eyes reflected understanding rather than disappointment at those words.
"Still, the Late Duke said this: because of her efforts, a path to happiness has opened in your life, young master. He would ask for nothing more."
At Parker's words, Cassian squeezed my hand firmly.
I was truly grateful we had come to Liardan Duchy.
All the family affection he had never once received in childhood was preserved here in full.
*
Parker handed the key to Cassian Artez with assurances that we could freely examine the contents of the safe, then departed.
"Rest assured, I shall record the two of you as travelers."
His words carried the trustworthiness befitting a former butler of the Duke's House.
He also mentioned that when Cassian Artez opened the safe again in the future, it would not be as arduous as today.
After Parker left, we maintained some distance from each other for a while.
Once the conversation had settled somewhat, the subject that lingered most prominently in my mind was none other than the nature of the Liarden Duke House.
I found myself absently touching an ornately bound book nearby.
My thoughts still felt scattered.
'If only I hadn't heard that the Late Duke of Liardan despised others even touching his belongings...'
I could have simply dismissed everything Cassian Artez had said as exaggeration.
From the moment I first arrived in the Capital City...
No—had he ever truly avoided my touch since I first saved him?
'Perhaps it didn't matter when he was young, before he chose a companion...?'
Lost in such thoughts, Cassian Artez suddenly approached and spoke to me.
"Do you want that book?"
"No, I don't."
I was simply fidgeting out of awkwardness.
"Though I suppose to an upright advisor like Roselita, all of this is unclaimed property."
This insufferable man truly had no tact.
"Property the Inspection Committee couldn't find is exempt after the statute of limitations expires anyway. Besides, I'm not so oblivious as to misread the atmosphere in a situation like this. How exactly do you see me—"
Speaking indignantly, I turned my head sharply, but the expression on Cassian Artez's face that came into view made me actually step backward.
"Why... why do you have that look?"
"...I can't control it."
"What do you mean...?"
Isn't self-control supposed to be Cassian Artez's forte?
Why did he look so... how do I describe it... so earnest and vulnerable.
His expression was making me embarrassed as well.
Despite being the one who initiated the conversation, Cassian Artez seemed to have drawn upon every ounce of courage as he raised his hand to cover his face and sank down.
Then—
"...I'm sorry."
An apology I never expected escaped his lips.
"Pardon?"
"I truly didn't know, Roselita."
But saying it that way only confirmed that everything he had affirmed to Parker moments ago was the truth.
It seemed impossible to simply move past this now.
"...I never intended for you to learn of it this way."
Yet Cassian Artez's words that spilled forth only deepened my bewilderment.
Of course, the emotions that suddenly arose were not purely joyful.
He had always obscured his true feelings from me.
Whenever I sensed something, it was always he who would take a step back.
'But I understand why he did it.'
He wanted to convey it to me step by step, in his own way.
Just as I knew him well, he knew me just as well.
He had come to realize that I could feel a fateful dread at the emotions Cassian Artez offered me.
I bore some responsibility for the way he had tried to maintain the status quo by dismissing his own feelings as a jest.
Had I not also convinced myself, under the guise of our contractual engagement, that this extension simply stretched further into the distance?
We had both pretended not to see.
It was never a matter of one side alone bearing responsibility.
I did not want to evade responsibility and flee in such a manner.
But he....
"Yet by making me aware of this, and because it weighs so heavily... I'm sorry for burdening you."
He was treating his own feelings as though they were a sin.
"There's nothing to apologize for."
I was furious at that.
Whether I accepted his heart or not was secondary.
Within the bounds I had permitted, he had merely expressed the feelings he harbored.
Had I not allowed him to touch even my fingertips, it would never have reached me—even if it were merely a common greeting in society.
I was not unaware of just how cautious Cassian Artez had been with me.
Because we pretended to be lovers, a married couple.
Because we had entered into a contractual engagement.
Because I wanted to lean on him when I was struggling.
It was I who had offered him my presence for all these reasons, and it was I who had said I would remain.
From childhood, he had been perpetually lonely, scarcely able to forge even a single ally—so it was only natural that he would come to cherish someone in his heart.
Yet Cassian Artez was apologizing for the very fact that he had come to care for me.
For making me aware of his heart without warning, and for seeming to burden me because of his innate nature.
He was grieving over all of it.
"Why would that be the first thing you say?"
"Roselita."
Cassian Artez looked up at me.
Seeing my agitated expression, he grew visibly flustered.
"Are you angry?"
"Not at you!"
The raw words tumbled out at the sight of him.
I found myself thinking of Cassian Artez, who had crossed the line between life and death countless times in his childhood.
Whatever bargain the Emperor and Late Empress had struck, whatever love they had shared—it was none of my concern.
At least they had been given the chance to choose, the time to be cherished.
But Cassian Artez had been given none of that.
The entire situation—that despite having nothing, he would apologize merely for harboring one feeling toward me—was simply infuriating.
It was his habit to perceive his surroundings and read others' difficulties first, so he had suppressed it until he could no longer help but reveal it.
In a place where he should have spoken of affection, he had instead layered apology upon it.
As if all of it were my responsibility alone.
I couldn't even begin properly like this.
"Just tell me."
I opened my mouth firmly toward him.
"Not an apology—what you really want to say."
Don't be afraid of becoming a burden.
That's where we start.
Only then can I kick you out, consider it, or accept it.
Why are you throwing away both your chance to speak and my chance to think?
Cassian Artez's eyes widened.
All the darkness and gloom I'd seen in him seemed swept away by my violent outcry.
"...."
Then an emotion so raw and unguarded it was almost startling ripened the air between us.
Cassian Artez looked at me once, his ears flushing crimson, before he barely managed to speak without meeting my gaze directly.
"...I love you, Roselita.
Not hiding the tremor in his voice, laying bare every awkwardness to me.
"I love you very much."
When he spoke again as if confirming it to himself, he finally gathered all his courage to meet my eyes.
Not the skilled, cunning, vicious Cassian Artez.
But one willing to show me even his most fragile self—inadequate, fearful, and trembling.
We had touched so closely, so frequently before.
As if it had all been a lie.
He conveyed his confession with only his gaze fixed upon me.
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Brought to you by Valir Scans! To support our team and enjoy the latest releases, please read directly on our official site: valirscans.org
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