Chapter 119
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120.
"Liliana."
As Lily tilted her head in confusion, Julian's voice reached her from behind.
And he had called her by her true name, not a nickname.
"Brother... or rather, Your Grace."
Julian spoke to Kanna.
"Rebecca said she's tired and wants us to take a walk together. It seems she'll need your assistance."
Kanna nodded knowingly.
"Understood. I shall go attend to Rebecca at once."
With Kanna's departure, the Garden of Eternal Light became theirs alone.
"Would it be... all right if I sat beside you?"
Julian gestured toward the empty space on the swing where Lily sat.
Lily, who had braced herself for harsh reproach, found herself momentarily dazed by Julian's gentle tone.
Standing among the Lux flowers that radiated an enchanting glow, Julian seemed like a vision itself.
A gentle breeze swept through, and his hair brushed softly against his cheek.
Because of this, Lily realized that the wondrous sight before her eyes was indeed reality.
"Yes..."
At Lily's acceptance, Julian's lips curved into a smile.
Julian sat beside Lily. He had no idea what to say first.
But Rebecca's parting words—to follow his heart—gave him courage.
He could not meet Lily's gaze, so instead he fixed his eyes on the Lux flowers, which sparkled as brilliantly as the child herself, and spoke.
"Do you remember anything about Father or Mother?"
Lily shook her head.
She had heard that her father died before she was born, and her mother took her own life not long after his death.
To Lily, her parents were beings no different from dragons or legendary holy swords—mere legend.
"That's somewhat enviable. Unfortunately, I remember my mother and father all too clearly."
Wouldn't it be a blessing to have parents to long for?
It was something I dreamed of every night. Yet he envied her instead.
Lily still feared speaking to Julian.
So instead of answering, she opened her eyes wide and gazed at him.
"Sometimes there are parents for whom absence would be a mercy. Your father, Duke Daniel Johannes, and my mother, Evelina Alastair, left me only bitter memories. And I..."
Julian, who had hesitated for a moment, shifted his gaze toward Lily, who was now watching him intently.
Lily's eyes widened.
These were the eyes of blood kin she was meeting for the first time.
His pale golden eyes, fixed upon her, shone with a color similar to the light emanating from the Lux flowers.
Yet they appeared profoundly sorrowful.
Faced with that pitiful yet tender gaze, Lily felt she might burst into tears.
"I never wanted to become that kind of person to you. I wished for you to grow up as an ordinary person, untainted by this vile House of Johannes. But regardless of my intentions, my methods were wrong. I hurt you. I'm sorry."
"Hic..."
Lily clenched her lips desperately, fighting back her tears.
I'd heard that adults dislike crying children as much as they dislike anything else.
Even in fairy tales, children who cried and threw tantrums were always punished.
We'd only just shared a tender gaze, and I didn't want to ruin it like this.
No matter how hard Lily tried to hold back, Julian saw through her immediately—she was suppressing her tears.
Julian grasped Lily's trembling small shoulders.
His face contorted with anguish.
"Please... I'm begging you like this. Please. Don't hold it back, Lily. Don't be like me. Don't run away. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to be angry, be angry. You don't need to try so hard to make me love you. I know it's hard to believe, but I've never hated you. Not once."
"Waaahhh!"
In the end, Julian had made Lily cry.
Julian stood dazed, watching Lily throw herself into his arms and sob with abandon.
Her fluffy pink hair looked exactly like the downy feathers of a baby bird.
My sister was smaller and more fragile than I'd imagined. And unbearably precious.
I feared my rough hands might touch her and cause her harm.
Julian clenched and unclenched his helpless hands.
But Lily's sobs showed no sign of stopping.
He was the one who'd told her not to hold back and to cry, yet seeing his sister weep so sorrowfully, he felt he might die from regret.
'If only Rebecca were here...'
He desperately needed Rebecca in this moment.
But Rebecca had been right.
This was something he had to resolve on his own.
He had to bear the pain. He had to atone to this child.
After searching his memory for a moment, Julian carefully placed his hand on Lily's head.
To avoid putting his full weight on her, the tendons in his forearms suddenly stood out prominently.
He remembered how all his anguish would disappear whenever Rebecca stroked his hair.
With an awkward gesture, he began to brush down Lily's hair.
"From now on... you don't have to stay only in your room. If you want to make friends, you can do that. We could even host parties. You said you wanted to go on a picnic together? Let's go. Balaria is truly beautiful... Now that I think about it, you've never seen the Sea, have you?"
Suddenly, my mind reeled. What have I done?
I had experienced everything good. So it all felt tedious and joyless.
But I hadn't even given this child the chance to think something was tedious.
I had made it that way.
Under the excuse of danger, I had locked an entire human life away in a narrow room.
I had committed an act unforgivable even in death.
Julian cursed himself.
Scum of humanity, garbage. Worse than Zeppelin. Just go die.
'No, even dying would be a luxury.'
I had to live and repay the debt. I had to survive ruthlessly and repay everything I owed to Lily.
Julian spoke haltingly.
"I... I'll try. To make your world happy. Can you give me a chance to repay what I've done all this time?"
At Julian's trembling voice, Lily hiccupped and lifted her head.
Parties and friends, picnics and the Sea. Fantasy words swirled dizzily in her mind.
Though frightened, I felt my brother's steady gaze fixed upon me.
Even through a child's eyes, he did not seem to be lying.
Yet I could not believe him.
Truth and trust were separate matters entirely.
I had grown up seeing only shattered faith.
Promises were meant to be broken, and vows scattered like fragments of starlight.
A child raised on disappointment as a lullaby matured far too quickly.
I did not trust easily like an adult—I suspected first.
When Josephine said tomorrow would bring clear skies, I answered that rain would come.
Yet for the first time, someone had kept their promise.
'I will persuade you to speak your truth. I will show you that I truly love you dearly. I'm not sure if your shy brother can do this well, but I will try. Lily.'
'I promise to do my very best to ensure your happiness.'
I fidgeted with my pinky finger.
That miraculous moment when Rebecca's finger had touched mine came flooding back.
"Lily. Will you give me a chance?"
Julian asked urgently, his voice trembling at my silence.
Rebecca had been right.
Though it had been awkward, I had shared dinner with my brother.
The brother who had always been as cold as ice had asked for my forgiveness.
He said he had been thinking of me all along.
Had he cast some spell?
Could a person truly change in such a fleeting moment?
I gazed slowly at Julian's wavering, searching eyes.
His hand, now holding mine, was damp with perspiration.
Though I might be hurt again, I wanted to believe.
Not because of Julian's change, but because of Rebecca's promise.
"Then, will you continue to accept my birthday gifts like you did this year?"
"Ah..."
A sigh that was almost a groan escaped between Julian's teeth.
All the birthday gifts I had returned came to mind.
Croa's resentful gaze followed alongside those memories.
What I had dismissed with a single word was a rejection Lily would carry her entire life.
'I have been continuously wounding her all this time...'
My chest ached as though being torn apart.
Though the pain was immense, even if I were to suffer twice the agony I now endured, I had no right to voice my suffering.
I offered Lily the gentlest smile I could muster.
"Yes. Please do."
Lily's face brightened. It was remarkable how a face streaked with tears and mucus could shine with such radiant joy.
* * *
"What color is the Sea, then?"
Lily asked, munching on an almond cookie.
A week had passed since that first family dinner.
During that time, Julian had made tireless efforts.
First, he had moved Lily's room from the Separate Quarters to the main residence.
He invited Helena and Livia to meet Lily.
The three of them became close instantly, as though they had known each other since birth.
And Julian set aside a mandatory hour each day to converse with Lily.
Lily, who had been hesitant at first, eventually began addressing Julian as "brother" instead of "Duke," growing comfortable in his presence.
Though she still occasionally hesitated to approach him, her demeanor was unmistakably different from before.
Julian smiled with a hint of relief and spoke gently.
"Look up."
At Julian's words, Lily's gaze lifted toward the sky. A cloudless expanse of blue filled her entire vision.
"That's exactly the color. The Sea is like the sky of the land."
"Then it must be truly beautiful!"
Lily's laughter rang out like rolling pearls.
Croa gazed blankly at Lily's noticeably brightened face.
The sight of the House of Johannes siblings sitting peacefully beneath the parasol still felt strange to her.
It seemed as though Julian might overturn the picnic basket and leave at any moment.
But only the playful cats coveted the basket.
Croa recalled the conversation between Rebecca and Julian that had taken place in the Dining Hall before.
She hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but when she heard Julian's sobs, she couldn't help herself.
And then she saw Rebecca anew.
Rebecca truly understood Julian.
It was evident that she guided him toward the right path and cherished him deeply.
She loved Julian as well.
Though I knew not what ripples this might cause, I resolved that I would protect the happiness of the Duke and Duchess, even at the cost of my life.
As Croa made this silent vow, Rebecca approached.
The runaway Countess had returned.
E-book publication.
January 12, 2022
Author.
Long Night Sky
Publisher.
Desert Fox
Published by.
Woongjin ThinkBig
Submission Intake
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Blog
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Brought to you by Valir Scans! To support our team and enjoy the latest releases, please read directly on our official site: valirscans.org
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